Saturday, 29 December 2007

Blue Star

...funny are the words you say...the words you preach...forgetting, like you never did before...you might be just like me with someone disappointed or more expecting from you...expectations...how they fall when you see yourself in the mirror, don't you see you've changed from what you used to be? The way you've drained all the colours you once draped yourself in...the way you taught me how to dream and do the impossible...the way you smilled when you read what i wrote and we would spend hours talking about our little hopes...well, you're turning into a puppet now and all that once remained with you is washing away like your regrets in the rain...though there is still hope...there is no way out of this...so let me find my own...maybe, rationality is just a word for cowards...so often i used it to justify and preach to myself how i should be and what i should be and especially what i can't be and will never even try thus...but not anymore...let me be the crazy one, let me sometimes go astray...how will i ever learn if you chart out the roads for me and tell me where they lead to...?

I don't know of the future to come...and you don't too...whatever you have today may fall apart tomorrow, so what makes you so sure of things not working out for me??...fuck your rationality...seriously...you are not wrong but am i...to hope, to dream...and thus, to work towards making it possible....???


No.

Friday, 28 December 2007

Monkey Wrench

*ahem*


onelastthingbeforeiquitineverwantedanymorethanicouldfitintomyheadistill
remembereverysinglewordyousadiandalltheshitthatsomehowcamealongwith
itstillthere'sonethingthatcomfortsmesinceiwasalwayscagedandnowimfree.

thank you



over but not out.

Wednesday, 19 December 2007

Muse


You came to me like words, broken
And I turned you into a song.
Humming your sweet tune devoid of sorrow
I walk down the roads that might take me somewhere.
Far away but still near, always
Close to you.
You said I could mould you.
Shape you free, and yes you were
Like clay.

You came to me like a revolution, forgotten
With all the idols washing down brick walls,
Like promises from my ear.
With all the heroes burning out, turning into statues.
Everyday they play, dance away
To ashes, dust
It never changes, catatonic
Like paper planes that take flight,
Only to be still.
Like hollow flags that are raised, beautiful
Just to sway in the wind.

You came to me like a stranger, lost
Went everywhere with a rear-view mirror,
Karma dice, colours, music and sanity in tow.
Always contemplate how far you’ve come.
And still, you told me the way a tree bends.
Always lament how far you’d go.
Told me where to follow, lead.
Told me all the things unsaid,
Blasphemous whispers in my sleep.
Shelter, sparks
I feel tonight.
Never knew cold fingers running down my back
Could feel so warm.

Sunday, 9 December 2007

Moths


Words they say are just like stones.
Alone, unbroken
Not weathered by time
Nor bound by expectations.
Unchanged
With the seasons gone by.
But I’m not.

Sometimes when I get to thinking,
Of the way you were carved
I slip, I fall
Away, Far away
From my mould they said he made for me,
Or maybe I made for myself.
See the way you look when they
Remember you.
Everything else is remembered
But I’m not.

Mother, is it safe for spring tonight?
Mother, will this
Pass me by?
There’s a fire today, deep in your eyes
Let’s call it the sun
Let’s call it
The sun today.
Where I came by as a thief,
And now am left a vagabond.

And this is beautiful like everything else
That lasts.
The last one to fade shan’t go away too fast.
Bitter taste on my tongue and figures lost in
The wilderness
And you and I are just,
Two moths
Dancing alone again,
Into the fire.

Friday, 7 December 2007

Gravedigger


Let us depart to the valleys high,
Let us try to live a lie,
Let not the day go down in sighs,
May we the living, rest in dirt.

Lest all your fears are signified,
Like a drama lost behind your eyes,
You’re a believer who’s got no one to confide,
And I still yield to your hurt.

To search for something that’s still alive,
Unlike the children of ’45,
May you pray upon my demise,
Deep in your shadows, I lurk.

And like a smile that is denied,
The hope in the future of a million tear-stained eyes,
But mother, its raining death tonight,
And the sky is azure no more.

Do you walk the fields where your fathers lie?
Do you hear them whisper when you pass them by?
‘History shall repeat itself again’,
‘Yes, oh my son, just like before’.

So I still raise that flag and listen to every word you say,
It lies wasted, like the hollow documents of democracy,
Like the promises of tomorrow that lead us astray,
But love the country that doesn’t believe in you.

To earn medals and go down in history,
You cannot see what you’ve done to me,
Use and throw, a tool from the grocery store,
And soon I shall join you father,
For now I’m just passing through.

The Pain I Love


You know my name and not my face,
We’ve sung this song before.
Your fingerprints don’t leave a trace,
As you crawl right through my door.

What do you see and want me to be,
Caged tonight in the thoughts of you.
I run in circles when I’m free,
I only love it when I’m hurting you.

He stares at the mirror and doesn’t know his face,
I weep and weep as I weave my wicked craft.
Don’t you know I want you on a crucifix?
With pins and needles in your heart.

Shining lights and the words they say,
Too true and precious to borrow.
Let us commit our little sins today,
We’ll be forgiven tomorrow.

Let me go astray tonight,
No one left to torture in this world.
No strips to mask your bloody wounds,
No noise of pain I haven’t heard.

Some Rain Must Fall


A heart wrapped in darkness,
A soldier freed from sorrow.
A whiff of the past is better,
Than the stench of tomorrow.

Time will make me a miser,
As we will our end to pass.
I’m not getting any wiser,
Head me back to the start.

Where do we again to begin?
All the answers are lost in your eyes.
And I confess, my only sin,
All I did was to let it die.

Now everything has been said before,
There are just no more words left to borrow.
The rot of the past is better,
Than the decay of tomorrow.

There are strangers in your room,
And there is blood in your hall.
They shall haunt you soon,
You know some rain must fall.

Fool

....happy i am.


why does it feel weird when i write these words...?? Yes, it's been long...too long perhaps...but now that you're here, let's walk outta this place..drive me far away and don't leave me be...got you like a poem i wish i wrote...but now it's mine...mine...future retarded that i am, i stop to contemplate still...but i guess i shall believe it this time...and stop guessing too, fool...you'll never get far...cuz you're already there.

Last Words


Knowledge is confusion,
Ignorance is bliss.
The future’s just a hit and miss.
Now the rope is hanging,
Long and slow.
I swear I had no place else to go.

Gutterflower


Gutterflower, gutterflowers,
Rushing in on the midnight hour.
Deep in the day,
Why not in bloom?
Take the heat from the sun,
To shine with the moon.
Or take root in darkness,
With me and die.

Tuesday, 4 December 2007

Tuesday

Your calls from the cold...how I miss them...she thinks the truth will set us free. Well, maybe it will...i don't know...not the one who's good with answers...always better with getting you nowhere...till yesterday i was sure i could fly...now I am glad I've found out that walking on the ground is way much better...way more harder...way more beautiful...but not more than you.

This wheel is spinning me...Dave sings this one like a memorized lullaby never meant to be forgotten...he says we're temporary, just another soul for sale, we're not permanent...same ol' story....sing along my friends, sing along...refuse to hear the one that's inside...no, not god...you.

But then again, who are you....who are you....who are you?

Aren't we all just pretenders in here...?Too cowardly and too imperfect to ever be perfect again....but are still willing to try otherwise through futile means to achieve the unreachable...to do the impossible...it aint right, it's never been...impossible is something.

But times like these are important, they should never fade, they should consume you and leave you be forever, they should give you epiphanies with coloured flags fluttering in the wind and with eagles soaring in the sky, they should make you believe you're not alone.




Dear loneliness,
I'm not.

Sunday, 2 December 2007

Cliches

I hate to watch you go,
But I love to watch you leave.
Everyday is just an hourglass,
Like sand through my hands, you recede.

The armies all departed,
Now I’m down to just one.
And I think of songs to sing to you,
But the lines just won’t come.

I still need your crazy touch,
Or maybe I just feel too much.
Down this time for the final time,
Maybe I just feel too much.

Touch

There I was on a lazy winter morning.
Writing songs to your name.
Thinking about how the sky would look
From your window,
As you wake.
Half drugged state of paranoia,
Mixed with sweet lament.
Here I am.

There I was,
Surrendering to this brief moment.
As nicotine burned my throat,
And many hot cups of tea filled me up
With you to pass the day.

And there I was, you should have seen,
Branches broken by the eagle,
Just in time for the obligation.
And the promises I wish I could keep.

Here I am on a lazy winter morning,
Writing songs to your name.
Here I am,
There you were.

My maiden and I

Losing reasons to be understood.
But there are proportions to be defied.
Chained myself to the roads we’ve traveled,
Like chaos in my mind.

A reason to be flown away,
Like the words that ebb tonight.
Oh so lovelorn,
My maiden and I.

A heart drenched in silence,
But a voice that couldn’t die.
Passive, as I watch her drifting,
Nourish my selfish pride.

Blinded, in your flame I am.
Picturesque, you haunt my eyes.
Oh so lovelorn,
My maiden and I.

Are you a deceiver?
Tearing down my walls.
I know they will forgive,
Purge us when we call.

I’ve been down this sad, dark forest,
And now your arms are open wide.
Oh so very lovelorn,
My maiden and I.

Monday, 26 November 2007

Faces in the Attic


Faces that you let go of,
Maybe just for a day.
So that you may choose your tricks
With care, and
Panache.
Faces that I found hidden behind your hands,
Taking shelter from the sun.
And some I found in old and forgotten,
Bat infested ruins.
And we two, were lucky enough to be
With you.
Exchanging secrets over cigarettes and cheap tea.
Forgetting time like it reminds us so often.
So tell me again how you’ve been everywhere,
Everywhere but home.

Sunday, 25 November 2007

Black

Could you be my star?
That which I can chase through the dark…
That which guides me through the shadows.
Like kohl in your eyes,
Like one with the night.
Rambling as I do,
Drifter that I am,
But so are you…

Secret Place


I know a place without a name,
Will you lead or trace my shadows?
Down where I meet yours,
In our little place, without a name.

The circles, they just spin…
All clichés sound the same…
No pieces fall in place…
Turn that page and just,
Leave it all behind.

Heaven can run for those who follow
Hell shall be forgiven tomorrow.

And can you hear yesterday’s sighs?
And do you fear all those late goodbyes?
Are you a child who’s lost in time?
Or are you like me, coming down the line?

I know I’m wrong,
Mother, I’ve sinned today.
But I wish not to forgive,
So lead me astray
Far, far away.

And since you’re the only one in here who feels the same…

Walk with me till we reach that place,
Down where things come to a start,
Our secret palace, without a name.

Saturday, 24 November 2007

Now and Then

Choices, choices, choices
Lost in al their voices.
And who’s to say you’ll still be here,
When colours fade in the valley sky.
A wreck tonight, and you’ve come undone,
You found a reason to smile…

And it’s not always baby,
But it’s always now and then.

Treasons, reasons, reasons
Hottest, coldest seasons.
Whose to say you’ll still be near,
When ashes change to dust and die.
We’re innocent tonight, we were mislead,
But we found a reason to smile…

And it’s never always love,
It’s always now and then.

Yellow light and butterflies,
Across my darkened room.
Shades of white and string less kites,
Messages from the moon.
A little lonely, as I sing tonight,
When I think of you…

And its not always baby,
It’s always now and then.

Wednesday, 21 November 2007

Bhagsu


There were places like this so long ago,
Places where our legs would sway from the trees.
Like flags with prayers and leaves in the wind,
Which carried them away,
Far away to distant lands.

Places where the ghosts, they all roamed free,
And walked amongst us, the living dead.
Just one day closer, just one step away.

Where candles burnt and melt with wax.
And the stories were almost true…

Four feet behind and four in front,
Four besides and four again.
You could see the road bending and singing,
Down where we were one, we were all.

Places with summer running down the stream,
Wishing, waiting, watching you rise.
And many have I seen, just like before.
There was a time like this but it is not now.
A face, your face…your eyes…and a night that haunts.
There was a face like yours, but not anymore.

So tell me again, how I long to be asked,
Why always silence before dawn?
Wake up now and open your eyes.
Tonight let me watch you sleep
You can turn around and make me smile.

And there were places,
Places that you found, so far away,
In your head or across your eyes,
Where the sky was bruised in blue.
Could you take me back, lead me astray?
And I will stay with you.

Monday, 19 November 2007

Hitchhiker



I lie hot and naked tonight,
Pouring water to drown my sins.
Waiting for the world to pass us by,
Could you slip under this skin?

Is it all just an illusion?
Like the promise of the sun to shine?
All the reasons to reason you beliefs,
Don’t believe the voice inside.

The hollow men are there,
Tonight in my hall.
They whisper what they say,
One by one they fall.

And I tell them once – hell,
I tell ‘em twice.
Sometimes you got to be empty,
Just to find the light.

I like to thank you still,
For your wisdom in my heart.
All your wicked lies,
That push me back to the start.

So when words have lost their meanings,
And no road will let you stray.
Let’s find a song to sing,
As we walk out in the rain.

And you can find me tonight,
Rolling in your waves.
I still feed the beast inside,
Just to kill the pain.

The madness in my head is nothing new,
So let me drown my sins.
I’ll wait for you to pass me by,
And slip under my skin.

The moon shines its light,
The sun goes down the same.
And your thoughts are just,
Dirty soap and water down the drain,
Just dirty soap and water,
Down my drain.

Temporary



And I got dirty feet,
From all the miles that I have walked.
Not far from the distance between,
But still, back to the start.

This is meant to fall from grace,
An end to our demise.
Just like your breath, not on my face,
When I stare into your eyes.

So give me reasons and reasons again,
But never say a word.
And like the darkness, fade away into the sun,
Or descend into my sick, sad, little world.

Maybe you’re the only one with a choice,
And I am lost and free.
Devoid of a face, of a voice,
With something trapped inside of me.

The more I tell,
The more I find.
Your taste on my tongue,
And the things we’ve left behind.

So foretell me all the petty events,
The premonitions your songs couldn’t prevent.
Twisted tongues and the words you spent,
One day, I won’t be permanent.

Bugle and Drum

I heard the bugle and the drum,
They rolled on and on all night.
Slipping away like marching soldiers.
Between shadows and the light.

And I heard the call of darkness,
Of our nation’s precious sins.
They mix like blood in water,
And flow somewhere within.

Like a bird whose lost its prey,
It has no wings to glide.
This time I shall surrender,
Break into your once deep-blue skies.

So have you heard the news today?
Women and children were not spared.
Kiss your babies goodnight,
Wish they weren’t there…

So I heard the bugle and the drums,
As the generals, they spoke without any words.
Twisted and frayed, they were broken still,
And went down in silence-unwept, unknown and unheard.

A Poet Must Die



As the court lies in session,
All the ladies feign a sigh.
With a cloth laced with velvet,
They dry the tears in their eyes.

They’re calling out my name,
And an eerie silence falls.
Out I come, with my shame,
In your blind and blackened hall.

For every borrowed phrase,
For every little lie,
For the songs that you sing,
All through the night.

For the voices that you hear,
And all your wasted tries.
For the scars that you bear,
A poet must die.

There is just no one to blame,
Their voices are all true.
Point your bony fingers to my face,
Et tu brute, et tu.

Oh father, don’t you look at me,
Mother, don’t you cry.
Brother, sport some apathy,
And save it till I die.

For the things that you see,
For the secrets that you hide.
For the things that you say,
And all your demons inside.

For all the voices that you hear,
For all your reasons why.
And for all your treasons and deceits,
A poet must die.

Saturday, 13 October 2007

The Anomaly


We blame it all on politicians,
Their words are never true.
In shadows and in silence,
They smile like me and you.

I pledge allegiance to a country without borders,
A place without a name.
A flag that’s drained of colours,
And an empty government.

The soldiers are still marching,
I thought they were coming home to me.
A stranger in a stranger land,
I am an anomaly.

They blame it on the people,
We blame it on the war.
The violence of our neighbours,
Whoever you are.

The papers, they don’t lie,
But they never say the truth.
The mighty never cry,
Let’s hope they’re haunted by me and you.

Those whose cups are overfilled,
Will never go on a hunger strike.
Lay back kid, let the television feed you,
Give in to your demise.

And history sings again,
A choir of broken souls.
Capitalism is here to stay,
I salute the status quo.

Now they’re shutting down the factory,
When all the bills are due.
And the soldiers, they’re all leaving,
Just when the war is through.

So let’s blame it on the politicians,
Whose words are never true.
Let us close our eyes and never see,
They’re just like me and you.

We are the ones who made them,
It’s for them that we chant.
A reason to hate, a justification,
We are the slaves of what we want.

So I’m walking out of here,
For I can’t sing this through.
I wish I could paint this town ‘red’,
Wish I could open your eyes to you.

I’ll pledge allegiance to a country without borders,
Where the people have no names.
Let’s raise the flag that’s drained of colours,
Bring down the government.

Let us not depart to the Promised Land,
Let us be free.
Bound by chains, but of the human hand,
Let’s be the anomaly.

The Darkness


Down your neck and through your spine,
In your every breathing nerve.
I see the pictures moving behind your eyes,
As I concede to your hurt.

Been such a long, long time
They’d pray that we depart.
Don’t question what is yours and mine,
This will is shattered from the start.

Now I know all your names,
And I know your places, too.
The letters I never meant to send,
Well, they will get to you.

The light that reclined from your hands,
Will it still be gray…?
You can try, but you won’t understand
These voices in my head.

I wander in this forest all alone,
Oh, won’t you light my way?
Won’t you be my guide, through shadows and light?
Won’t you leave me astray?

The Stone


Today, tonight I watched you die,
With your idols by your side.
Taking down the only flag you raised,
Tattered and torn, it shall be raised again.

It’s not dark yet, even though
The light is dim.
And the wall of reasons,
Is wearing thin.
As the eyes all count,
All your sins.
But the song is done, so let’s begin.

To be the things you want me to be.
To see the things you always see.
To be tied in chains and still be free,
For there is nothing left to lose.

So unlike tomorrows, and for one last time,
Give me a chance, a chance to shine.
I know you know before we were diamonds,
We were just stones in your mine,
Stones in your mine.

Tuesday, 9 October 2007

xOxO

Did you ever have the feeling that you wanted to go?

And still had the feeling that you wanted to stay...?

How does it matter, boy...you can't change anything.

Wash Away


Could you close your eyes and show me the places,
Where everything needn’t make sense?
Will you lay down your arms? Lay down your faces?
Lay down that whole defense?

I am sorting out the reasons to be indiscreet,
Sorting out my alibis.
I’ll give you everything you want and need,
And I’ll surrender all my time.

I’ve bid the past goodbye and wiped out the traces,
Of fingerprints of long ago.
I’ve burnt all their letters that were wasted,
And words that haunted me like ghosts.

So this plea is the only one,
I am but a child.
With his future wasted, a selfish son,
Don’t look at me with those eyes.

Don’t dream with me of those places,
Where nothing ever makes sense.
Just wash me away in the tides of time,
Leave me be tonight in my room full of emptiness.

Saturday, 6 October 2007

Changes


Well I see the sun is coming down,
Tired and red against a sky so bruised.
I save my voice for another time,
For now, I’m just coming down with you.

I wish I was different from these walls that surround,
I wish I was better from all that I have heard.
But I’m the same bruise that fades away with time,
Just like these empty, hollow words.

I told you to take a walk in the rain,
You, who were so kind,
I said I like the shelter, but miss the pain,
You told me still you can’t be mine.

You can find me by the edge, rolling in your waves,
I still yield to your hurt.
The burdens you carry, like bridges you burned,
And I am left with nothing but words.

Friday, 5 October 2007

Coming Back To You


I woke and I saw the sunset,
Never pray you would depart.
Lady you’re slipping away like time,
Between the shadows of my heart.

They tell you you are precious,
They say that you’re the one.
And I’m lost in the crowd,
In an army of no one.

Advices washing down my ear,
Never were they true.
And as I watch you drifting,
I’m still coming back to you.

Let us sing a song that don’t mean a thing,
You know I long for your touch.
And I dream about you, still,
Of your whispers that have had enough.

Walls around me everywhere I go,
The silence surrounds me and you should know.
I need you to wash away my sins,
Don’t let me give the lonesome a meaning.

All my tomorrows are wasted,
The future is nothing new.
And I still long for yesterdays,
As I am coming back to you.

When I watch you dreaming,
I try to catch your eye.
You’re only something to dream about,
Like voices of the night.

Like a man lost amongst the ruins,
Like a bird in the skies too high.
Like the moon, shining all alone,
I am counting all my wasted tries.

I have said everything,
Now there is nothing left to do.
What I did was all instead of,
Coming back to you.

Killing Joke

You are wrong...not like always though...

You say I have patience.

That's right.
That's wrong.

You say I can endure.


And now let me tell you how...



Beacuse I am a coward.


And every coward has the amount of patience that lies beyond the normal human degrees of endurance.

So this is my gift.
And it is my curse.

But I ain't spiderman.

Torn


Tonight I sleep with no songs in my head,
Just beside you in dreams and the things that we’ve said.
Across the distance, all the reasons echo twice,
And as you blink, I try and catch your eye.

Oh take me as I am, so far away,
Down by the darkness, where you angels fear to tread.
I know I cannot win or bend and sway,
I know I can only be, just myself today.

I see something broken behind your eyes,
It sinks in deeper, like empty skies.
Devoid of the sun, it’s cold and blue,
Just like me tonight, in the thoughts of you.

Monday, 1 October 2007

Stranger


Hand me scissors...i want to cut my wings and never wanna fly again...ever again...not like i ever knew
how
to
in
the
first
place.




Ha....funny, u say? The years have left me disillusioned...this winding road has got me far but left me nowhere...i don't know a way out of here...iam happy i am sad i am sorry...rini's mind's a machine, juliana's mind is lost...and the girls in brazil are so pretty..what the fuck am i doing here in india...why dont you look at me with your eyes? I can change i can change i can change...but who do you want me to be? I am still the same the same the same...and stranger things have happened...am I a hero or a pretender or both? I don't quite know...I have a feeling neither do and you never did...u just think you do...just like me...



I hate religion but I've become a preacher myself...preacher full of shit...preacher preaching things he himself doesnt know or can't understand...not because he doesnt want to, but because he can't.



Ever rolled a snow ball down a mountain? Ever spoken with your eyes? Ever dreamed with eyes open wide? Ever smoked a cigarette and watch the smoke fill the air? Ever sung alone? Ever cried while taking a shower? Ever peirced a heart with just words? Ever heard things you don't believe? I have, love, I have.



Look
at
me.







Iam the same.






An idiot
with a
pen.






A soldier
with
a flower.






A lover
with
a guitar.






A whisper
in the
dark.








And
still...






A
stranger
to
myself.

Wednesday, 26 September 2007

Chile


In your valleys of silence,
I heard the poet’s sigh.
All his dreams are gone,
Lost, in the darkness of the night.

Across the streets laden with stones,
You can hear your mothers cry.
And through the cracks, the light is shown,
Like questions in your eyes.

Don’t sit still with your pistola,
Waiting for a change.
Look outside, see your ravaged lands,
Watch the blood come down with the rain.

Do you see history repeating itself?
And yes, it’s humour, but in vain.
Let the rain wash away who I am tonight,
Cold and noble, till I’m no one again.

And I waited for your hollow words,
The promise of the sun you said will shine.
Now let me wade through the silence,
Let me be one with the voices of the night.

No more! The innocence that is lost,
No more! The roots of yesterday.
No more! The solitude that you spoke of,
Through the rising moon, we’ll find our way.

Ghosts


I’ve been losing the battles I’m playing,
It’s been too late and far too long.
Come to me and make me believe,
I can do no wrong.

When you run with the roses,
Don’t the thorns prick your side?
A scar for each day,
And you always got to hide.

With the voices of your pasts,
Behind the mascara in your eyes,
Between the echo of the distance,
Well, that’s just surprise.

Do you ponder among the unknown?
Sing your little song…
I’ve seen the future, brother,
And I know it won’t be long.

For ghosts to take over,
And rise from the stone.
Erase all our tomorrows,
Till there’s nothing left at all.

Warning


It’s ringing in the night,
Through a hole in the air.
It’s in our mother’s sighs,
But it ain’t exactly there.

It’s in our father’s wars,
It’s in the acid showers.
Between our cries for help,
Stuck in random hearts.

It’s in my baby’s eyes,
It’s burning like chrome.
Across these bruised skies,
Like a message, unknown.

It’s in the morning sun,
In the pin of the grenade.
Across the roads we’ve walked,
When we were left astray.

It’s in the dead man’s ears,
In the general’s drum.
It’s the third world’s fear,
Like the sound of the gun.

You can run for miles,
Turn every page.
When you know the answer,
Don’t be afraid.

Don’t hide behind the wall,
With the things that you’ve learnt.
Please heed the call,
Before the warning comes.

Wednesday, 5 September 2007

My Dream


I seem to be settling in,
From where I once began.
I sometimes feel I can’t win,
And I can’t fly to land.

I let go of the pain,
Of your shaking hand.
I let go of the past,
All alone, I take my stand.

Friends turn to foes,
And enemies are respected.
I sometimes feel so numb,
But somehow, I’m affected.

I can fool you easily,
Say I don’t feel dejected.
Still I feel, in my pond,
The past is still reflected.

I still feel I can win,
Only if I try.
And I live to tell the tale,
Of the truth from the lie.

A thousand dreams I had,
All of them ended with a sigh.
I just have one more,
And I won’t wish it goodbye.

Escape


Look around you, my dew eyed boy.
You can see a world, changed.
It’s in its tomorrow, now,
It won’t go back to yesterday.

When the yesterday isn’t far,
When your tomorrows ain’t a long way,
Hold my hand, take it strong,
We’ll make our escape.

When it’s all over,
You’ll be with me still.
We’ve come a long way through the oceans and the canyons,
And we’ve climbed the hills.

When the lonesome has a meaning,
And you’d much rather be drifting away,
Hold on to your faith, hold it close,
We’ll make our escape.

I’ll set you free from sorrow,
And I’ll love you more tomorrow.
Won’t let the light escape from you,
Won’t let the darkness swallow you,
We’ll make our escape.

Moses


I am walking with heavy steps,
Leaving footprints in the sand.
And not caring about what I’ve left behind.
I am carrying this heavy load with me,
In this burning desert.
But it’s still raining in my mind.

A grain of sand may not know its significance,
In the vast dunes of this land.
But it still plays its part,
All together, they take their stand.

When they unite and dream,
The wind may carry them to the shore.
And in the wind, you may see it true.
The wave shall swallow you whole.

All alone, I only have my faith,
And my desire to be free.
Together with my kind, I shall do wonders,
And I shall part the seas…

Time


On the sidewalk,
Between the heartbeats.
I noticed you singing all alone,
In the streets.

On an unknown shoreline,
Between the blink of an eye.
I saw you drifting,
As time passed my by.
I lost my keys,
The keys to your door.
Am I standing or am I flying?
I ain’t too sure.

On your lips,
Or at the corner of the ocean,
Bends a sunrise.
You look the same,
As the beautiful sky above it,
When you smile.

I had your picture,
Wherever I ever roamed.
But the things I hold on to so tight,
Are always the first ones to go.
And in my dreams, tiny tragedies,
We deserve so much more…

Now I shall carry the memories,
Of you and me as we part.
Don’t turn around and look back,
This is just the start.

In the sky or above it,
In the clouds, you were there.
Looking down on me and smiling,
This feeling we can share.

I sat on the beach,
And I sang your song.
Nothing lasts forever,
Nothing lasts that long…

Now I walk happy and alone,
Even though you’re gone.
And I pass your house by.
The only reason everything
Builds up or breaks away,
Is time.

Clarity


A poem I thought I’d lost…maybe I’ll lose it again. Who knows? Nobody.

Things that I’m afraid of,
Things that I fear.
They aren’t with me anymore,
You make them disappear.

And I won’t turn around,
To find my past still here with me.
Whatever I’ve left behind,
Shall become my history.

I hope to find unopened doors,
Walking this uncertain path for too long,
Don’t give me comfort, I must continue,
And soon enough, I’ll be gone.

Let truth be the secret,
I hold so near.
And for once in a blue moon,
I see everything clear.

I see the dawn, I see the dusk.
I see your city, all lit up.
I see the thunder, I see the sky,
I see the moment,
That has passed you by.

Now I see everything,
For everything’s here.
And everything is gone,
But everything’s clear.

Always


Her love flows by me,
As easy as the breeze.
It’s funny when things change so much,
Like shorelines and the sea.

I walked her to the door,
Beyond the pain, I took her far.
It doesn’t matter where she goes, now,
I’ll always know where you are.

I try to lie to her,
I try to love her right.
In the darkness of my life,
I carry a fading light.

I can’t see beyond this tunnel,
My vision is fading.
Oh, the way I’ve wandered these paths,
Only I know that the past is misleading.

Now it has come to distances,
The time has come for us to part.
Anywhere you go, keep the faith,
I’ll always know where you are.

The Game


I see you out in the rain.
The tears fall out of nowhere,
And land at your feet.
You just stand there
Staring, staring at me with those eyes.
You make me want to
Draw a picture of you.
And keep it for always,
Beside my window.
So that whenever it rains,
I can still see you outside.
I can’t see the feelings,
That you hide.
Relieving them will just
Fuel their selfish pride.
The flowers in your hand
Are dry, maybe because
You want them to be.
You’ve saved them for me.
I can smell you from my door.
Taste your feelings and fears.
You’re standing so far away,
Still I can see you near me.
I don’t know if you can hear it,
Hearts beating out loud.
Although the name’s changed,
Inside we’re all the same.
Come on in inside,
We’ll start the game.

Waiting


Clocks are ticking, round and slow,
In this room, shadows are my only friend.
My thoughts wander as I wait by the door,
I long for the light in your eyes and the touch of your skin.

Cobwebs stretching on the wall,
Legs on the edge, contemplate the fall.
I kiss the mirror as the light is shown,
Sing me your songs when I lie all alone.

Dreaming with my arms open wide,
There are broken words all over the floor.
And in the corner, letters from an unknown man,
Who wouldn’t let me be the child I am.

In this slumber, I rise
With a body grown too old.
The things that are there in my head,
I wish you never know.

Disillusioned by the years, I am not the only one,
But everyone has found a place, and I have just begun.
The future’s not the same, there’s madness in it all,
I’ll take my ground and stand by you, though I’m bound to crawl.

They got to tell you something,
When you’re losing out on hope.
Running out of fingers, counting
The mistakes that you’ve made.
If this doesn’t get to you,
Well, I’ll hang my head, love,
And I’ll just wait.

Sunday, 2 September 2007

Liar


Away, away my days are all gone,
Let me rise, we’ll start again.
In this hunger that I’ve slept so long,
I couldn’t find a reason to stay.

Open your eyes and show me the places,
Where stars forever dwell.
I’ll take the fall with all my faces,
But I’ll never bid thee farewell.

There’s comfort in my wasted tries,
All the moments spent with you.
And since, to you, I cannot lie,
I’ll never say the truth.

Valium


....by me and Shraddha...



Rising to empty spaces,
Eyes wide open, blindly living a lie,
Standing in open waters, dreaming,
Whispering to the waves, flowing into the sky.

And the noise gives way to the silence,
Your voice echoes a thousand miles.
The choir goes off, somewhere in the distance,
I’m just glad I found you tonight.

Shivers, just another dream?
An illusion to soon fade away?
As I run my finger down you’re lips,
Wonder if you’re here to stay.


So I lie to you, make promises I can’t keep,
And whisper in your ears, the things u want to hear.
Down these roads we've travelled, I watch you recede,
Walk away into the darkness and disappear.

Shimmering eyes, in the darkness ignite,
In this melodious silence two bodies begin to sway,
Could you hold me and keep me safe tonight?
As this darkness surrounds don’t you turn away…

Don’t you walk away, be wary of the light,
Surrender to me, your sweet decline.
For us who live in this dream make believe,
The world is just an alibi.

Lay here on my lap as the hours pass by,
Let me look in your eyes and watch myself fade.
Don’t you shy away as you feel the touch of my kiss,
Let it help me forget the caress of the blade.

Friday, 24 August 2007

Strangers


Whole night I lay,
In my bed all alone.
Watching the shadows rise and fall,
At the corner of my room.

With my eyes open wide,
And my ears to the door.
I heard all your secrets,
And all your dirty talk.

I heard all your promises,
As you opened up your thighs.
The lament in your past,
When your limbs collide.

And it didn’t hurt me, still
As I stood by the door.
To hear and watch you panting,
Just like I did before.

His name, you said out loud,
Your cries, they drowned again.
Lost in your own self,
As your blood flew in vain.

Whole night I lay,
In my bed all alone.
I saw shadows of strangers,
They whispered at my door.

I know I don’t have it all,
These words won’t make me your man.
Oh, take me to the slaughter house,
I’ll wait there with the lamb.

Bury me deep, in a place so small
Like a picture faded and grey.
You try to hold on to your cold, stone walls,
You know, you don’t know it will all fall away.

But everyone is lonely tonight,
We all walk on our own.
Trying to glide, through shadows and light,
Looking for a place called ‘home’.

Whole night you lay, waiting by yourself
Empty as my bed, and so alone.
You thought this could have just been hell,
But that’s not how your story goes.

Wished for someone to take you in his arms,
You smiled through your eyes, invitation in a song.
I don’t know who I was before,
But when I came in, a stranger I was…

Friday, 17 August 2007

Everyone In You


I tried to find you in everyone,
And they left me alone.
Now I’ve been everywhere,
I’m a hundred miles away from anything called ‘home’.

I see the good in everyone,
And to them, I’m just the same.
I too, believe what they say I am,
Oh mother, I’ve become a name.

And I tried to find you in everyone,
They told me you’re not there.
I seek your touch that haunts me still,
Your skin is what I wear.

A little lonely, as I sing tonight,
Please, take me as I am.
Don’t let the lights go down into the dark,
Don’t say you don’t understand.



- To the one who will never know of the things in my head...or maybe you will.

Mannequin


Oh my sweet mannequin, sing a little song for me.
I don’t know how we walked this far,
But I know how we came to be.
Borrowed from the heathens, I gave you a heart,
Didn’t lay you on a canvas, but you’re a work of art.

With wires of steel, I grew you your hair.
I seek you in the shadows, but you’re not there.
With crimson and copper, I made you your eyes,
With rings of iron, I gave you wings to fly.

Take my lullabies, these songs of yesterday.
Sing them tonight, sing them for me.
Rid my head of the thoughts I can’t defuse,
Oh my mannequin, don’t walk out of view.

Oh my sweet mannequin, tell me a little lie,
About the distance that you walked.
About the times that you’ve tried,
To light this sad forest that didn’t give you anything
Except darkness in your heart,
Or maybe a song to sing.

And is this what you wanted? To do what I please?
To make me watch you suffer, and walk on your knees.
I am not what they say I am, though I made you this way,
The hollow that’s in your eyes, well it stares at me.

And yes it’s my fault you’re devoid of choices
The man upstairs is used to your screams,
He came down tonight and took away your reasons,
He said you can live without your dreams.

I seek your touch in a state of decay,
A thousand nights I’ve slept alone.
Besides your scarlet scent that never begs to differ,
In a house that’s not a home.

But oh my sweet mannequin, don’t you fall for me.
I made you and then I broke you, just to be free.
I wear masks; I spill deceits from my blackened tongue.
And you can try to spark, this lonely wooden heart,
But for now, the story’s done.

Everyday


I’ve been running around today,
To the places in my head.
Trying so hard to understand,
Everything that you said.

Everything I say is borrowed,
These words are not my own.
You leave me empty and hollow,
Don’t leave me all alone.

You disappear and fade away,
Like reasons in my hands.
Scars to tell what I’ve been through,
But I don’t have enough to make me a man.

So give me all your barbed retorts,
Don’t show me all your dreams.
In the end, you’re all the same,
Just a tear of glycerin.

And I’m just a face, getting lost in the crowd,
Because of you, I can’t figure, what I’m all about.
Because of you, I can’t find, a reason to stay,
And you know I’ll follow, this is everyday.

The Middle Of Everything


Father, forgive me for all my crimes,
I can never be like you.
I know I’ve wasted all my time,
I know I never gave a reason, too.

I never thought I would be like this,
But you see I had no choice.
You gave me everything I wanted,
Then you took away my voice.

But this ain’t a complaint, no sir,
It’s just a point of view.
I don’t like to believe in miracles,
I just want to believe in you.

Mother, forgive me for all my sins,
I can never be like ‘them’.
You know the future isn’t everything,
Don’t tell me to stop when I tell you when.

I never thought I would become this,
I can’t find the words.
Through this void in my head, we travel,
And seek the silence, yet unheard.

But I ain’t crying for help, no ma’am,
I know that you care.
Please don’t tell me what I’m not,
Don’t tell me I’m not there.

Brother, forgive me for all my tries,
You know we’re not the same.
What will I do if I had your life?
Well, I know I’ll take the blame.

I feel good when I see you smile,
Watching the trophies that you earned.
And I feel bad when I see you crying,
But there are lessons to be learnt.

One of us cannot be wrong,
When two of us cannot be right.
I’m running out of numbers and excuses,
And I’m already out of time.

But this ain’t a plea for attention, no man,
This maybe just a call.
Do you ponder when you look in the mirror?
I think I don’t know you at all…

Monday, 6 August 2007

Bitter Pill


She left the town like the way it was,
And I was dreaming of yesterdays.
I didn’t have the answers, never knew the cause,
My thoughts turned to ashes, and then they flew away.

A child died somewhere inside of me,
And a man could not hold back his tears.
For a woman he thought he knew so well,
For a girl who never got to be clear.

Now I know the words I never said,
Words that couldn’t make you mine.
So now I’m killing myself for you,
One day at a time.

The light that shines in your eyes,
Scenes from an unknown place.
They hold you close when you cry,
They can’t see your face…

Oh, she’s more than what she seems,
Walking across the line.
I know I’m wrong like you’ve always been,
But is that such a crime?

Tuesday, 31 July 2007

I am

You're powerless. No. You really are. You can try to be like everyone else you can't be but you know you can never change, for you just don't have it in you...not like you never did, and the little that you DID have, well, my boy, you're losing it now...and you're losing yourself with it...stop trying to speak cuz your lips are sealed. Stop trying to scream cuz you're not allowed to. Stop trying to say the truth cuz it doesnt help, stop trying to lie cuz it doesnt lead you anywhere...and people, well they are a funny lot...they see things you don't see (or maybe you don't want to) they hear things you can't...

Marx was wrong...there are three classes...the haves, the have nots, and in recent times...there is a new one which has emerged, that can be called the have ''what'nots''....they have everything, and everyone wants to be like them by following their every move...they can be like you anytime they want to be but they wouldn't even try that cuz then they will lose their followers...capitalism is here to stay,Marx is dead and gone...he won't return...the people never liked him, and he died for them. These things take courage, that's exactly what i need, and I know that's exactly what i don't have.

I don't know why it's illegal to kill yourself...like i said, the world is a funny place. They try to kill you everyday, enforce their laws upon you, make you bow down to everything they have created, make you follow the rules that you dont want to, make you see, hear smell touch the things that you rather not smell hear see or touch.Its all a sham, its all a farce...just like me and my words right now that dont mean anything...but i do ask, dont we die everyday when they dont really tell how and dont we live all the more when we really know how we're dying? There are reasons to everything I cant understand...there are situations i cant contemplate...there are people I am losing touch with and still, getting to know.

They tell me the time is now. I keep on thinking it has passed me by. Maybe Iam still waiting for that moment of truth...epiphany...I told a girl who hurt me that she needs it real badly...but no, I need it more than her...I need it now...I am not one of the have 'what nots'...I cant be what i want to be when i dont want to be myself anymore, though that is temporary but its a quality i dont possess, its a gift i dont have...is it necessary, you say? Very, my love, very.

Iam losing myself...becoming nothing again...maybe its all a scam to get your attention like the media these days...but its not just me who maybe lying now, is it?Evryone lies but no one tries to find the truth, a way outta things, the light at the end of the tunnel is fading...but fuck it all cuz I aint hopeless, sometimes i just need to get it outta my head and since that helps, dont plow me down for doing this...this is me...what am i, you ask? Good question...i will tell you when I am ready.



I am.

Monday, 30 July 2007

Shelter March


Don't look for cracks in the wall,
I know the light is shining through bright,
Brighter than any other day.
The wars are never over,
And the good guys always lose.
You know how the people are lead astray.
Humans are sold and bought again,
Never allowed to be free.
War torn lands, but start again,
Make me a refugee.
The sea is endless, the sky so vast,
The way is never shown.
And as I gaze across the mast,
I'm just a name in the unknown.
The wars are won and fought again,
Everyone is too blind to see.
The white dove is sold and caught again,
Just like the refugee.

Wednesday, 25 July 2007

A Girl Called Bombay

So softly, she slid into my hand,
All alone again, across the line.
She lifts her head to show me the land,
And I leave it there, a masterpiece unsigned.
I met a girl in Bombay.
She told me a lie.
She smiled through her teeth,
But when I turned away, she cried.

She told me her story,
The one I’ve heard before.
Tell me again boy,
‘What is it we’re fighting for?’

I never had the answer,
Too caught up in my own.
I laughed at her dry,
When she carved through her bone.

Pretty faces scare me,
I hide from the sun.
I don’t know who you are anymore,
Or what I’ve become.

Maybe its avarice, my only shame.
Maybe its you, the one I should blame.
Maybe it’s me like it’s always been,
Maybe I’ve finally become a name.

White skin so cold with flowers in her hair,
Like a long lost soldier losing sense of time.
I leave her be in her own world,
Frozen and broken, like a masterpiece unsigned.

So take me down this sad lonely town,
The one that don’t feel mine.
Take me up up and away, far into the sun,
I’ll grow some wings, begin to shine.

Lights go down and they look so pretty,
The one I could never be.
Hide me from my followers, and
Wake with someone by my side.

She never looks before she laughs,
‘I look ugly in a photograph.’
There’s a thing somewhere trapped inside,
The camera can’t see.

Tears she cried that were in vain.
Flowing down tonight with the rain.
I could try to be like you again,
But look in the mirror; you’ll only see me.

I left her there, couldn’t bring her back,
Even if I wanted, for one last time.
Bombay - the city of crumbling walls and dreams,
Like a masterpiece unsigned.

Layla

I see the light in black and white
I’ve become a name.
How do you laugh in a photograph?
Like you always been.

Leave me be the way I am,
Got your songs in my head.
I don’t care where we go,
As long as we’re walking…

Tracing sweat drops down your spine,
Faint smile across your face.
Lines of mascara in your eyes,
Keeping poets at bay.

I hear them calling from afar,
They’re calling out your name.
Lady, you’ve been balanced,
I’m still the same.

Don’t know how to get this through,
For once, I don’t know what to say.
I’m running down the street, looking for answers,
Losing my mind, might just be the only way.

No one tries to close my eyes,
Nothing can do me in tonight.
You’re anything anyone could ever want,
But I’m not like you, I’m not the kind.

Midnight Monologue



Wrote this one with Shraddha...mwah!Love ya dear!


Gazes,confused,she shivers tonight,
cold full moon on a blue sky torn.
tiny ledge,the most romantic place,
tears,shes sitting there all alone.

Head in her knees,wet little dress,
she cries of a home that never was hers,
of the child she could not make smile,
of a body so ugly covered with scars.

Music in her head,shes dancing on the edge
hips swinging slowly to beats she cant understand.
Lips quiver,longing for something to hold,
face awaits the touch of soft smooth hands.

Breathes in,rubs her hand along her neck,
she wishes someone could bite the pain away.
heart longs for a love she never might find,
sings for him,with nothing to say...

alone, cold, he's out of sight
like her in his head, so long gone.
lights a candle, then douse the flames,
when the children of tomorrow are born.

scars on her face, scabs on his hands
try to cut me open when she could not understand.
this distance that kills, this speed that haunts,
between just a mystery of a woman and a man.

rain is falling, dark and slow
the things inside your head, i'll never know.
shrouded in darkness, my lonely heart,
no one sings like you anymore.

And if you're not going my way,
I hope you come around and stay.
And this house may never make a home,
The world leaves us astray, but we're not alone.

Saturday, 21 July 2007

Daylight


As this morning light pierces through my skin,
I lie naked and hollow, waiting for the world to begin.
Not my time, so pull me apart,
I've been waiting for the end, I don't know how to start...

You said you were just like me,
Frozen and broken and never free.
When the world wounds you with a battle scar,
You put it out for everyone to see.

Disappointed, as you shed your skin,
Never look behind when you walk this far.
Funny how I lost myself in you,
Now I don't know who we are.

Sunday, 15 July 2007

Stabbing Of A Drama Queen


You mend, break so easy,
Sometimes, I could fall.
Your sins, beg to differ,
When I heed your call...

And you crawl right through the floor,
Of vacant spaces in my head.
Can't lie, so I'm bound to watch,
All the times that you play dead.


Being your worthy patron, my faults I know,
Forsake the things I should have said.
Take all your lies and your tears,
No tricks this time, but I'll disappear.


Cry in vain and they tear you apart,
Said you like the pain, now look where you are.
Twisting and turning like the thoughts in my head,
No one said a word when I stabbed the drama queen dead.

End Over End


As far as I've known it, I've always seen the end...I could always contemplate the end better than my peers. I could always see how things in my life would come to an end,and the various reasons people would give afterwords...be it in a relationshipor anything else...I could somehow always tell of the things to come...but as I've grown older in years as time served on this earth, I've come to realize that with somethings, you just can't tell. You can never know how things would shape up in the near future...and its at that precise moment that you realize that nothing in this life is certain, you never know if the truth will set you free or end up captivating you. Sometimes it's good to let things be and the way they are and let it all work out as the time passes by...I dunno where Iam going with this...its already beginning to eat me up. Not the way I had imagined it...atleast in a different dream...but this is way better than anything else, unplugged...one of those great reminders reassuring me again that I've lost my sense of contemplating things...even if I haven't, they ain't as good as they used to be...for the world isn't certain anymore.

Promethea


Now I take thee name as I lay dying,
Bound to rocks and plagued by birds.
Rapture beckons, from way too far,
You're the words made flesh that made fleash into words.

Forsake me father,
Martyr me dead.
Sour a world with alchemy,
Turn gold back into lead.

And your bones are hollowed by heresy,
Still, hallowed be thy name.
Shadows chasing me across the ravine,
Now I open my arms wide at your pearly gates.

Down in the valley of gods,
Right there is where I choose to run.
I'm out of sight, yet in your mind,
My tale is in the world of substance spun.

I'm the child who stands,
Between the earth and insubstantial air.
A thought that treads your rain swept lands,
Mortals seek me, their skin I wear.

A virgin fable stooped to gloom,
Pure light of the mind, across the moon.
But the story's done, it has had it's day,
I'm but a mould of the human clay.

Iam Promethea, the rumoured one,
Angels whisper my name.
The voice left alone, once all is done,
I'm a dream that waking does not end.

Rache Elixir


Trapped in a hexagram, twisting
You see me bend my shape and fill your cup.
It's enduring, this pain, when I know,
All you've ever tasted is my blood.

I don't seek your comfort,
The creature that's in me will only destroy.
Don't try to hide in the corner of my eye,
I know all your demons and the tricks you employ.

I've burned long enough on the cross you made,
Raised me on a pedestal and brought me down.
Now all you'll ever hear is my hollow laugh,
Through endless nights and days to come.

Down the roads you lead me astray,
Your blood shall run the same.
You may not recall who I am,
When I'm done with you, you'll know my name.

Tears For Layla


The smoke from the cigarette escaped his lips. Again. He was sitting by the balcony door watching it rise by the side and escape from the edge. He had a weird dream last night and he still could not figure out why he had woken up crying from it. As he recalled, he had dreamt of kissing a girl-nay, a beautiful girl. He had had the dream before but he had never woken up like that from it. When he told his friends, they'd said that probably if he had talked to them at that time, he would have told them...but obviously, they did not know that he wanted to call someone, anyone and tell him/her why he had cried...it's just that people don't take someone calling them at 4am lightly...that too, for a dream.


He looked outside and saw the sun shining brighter than it had shone yesterday. The smoke rose and got lost in the air, too thin and light to be seen, lost like the reasons and answers in his head. He remembered her voice clearly, it was beautiful and it broke all the silence that surrounds for all eternity.

Lost


No, you're not to be blamed.
Must be the time - never on my side.
Been waging this war way too long,
It's never been my time.

I'm like everything,
You've ever left behind.
Run or hide, walk or crawl,
You know I'm always on your mind.

The bridges burning down,
Look away and swallow your tears.
The only thing that hurts, love
Is that I'll be right here.

- a song for lost friends.

Bring You Down

Crazy child, with your back against the wall,
Running wild, I'd rather have you crawl.
When I'm lost, it's hard to find me there,
When I get high, you're everywhere.

So don't follow me now,
Never turn around.
Promises broken,
Now I bring you down.

Find me smeared across the page,
Hide me, for I'm lost and I'm dazed.
Haunt me, douse me in your flames,
Losing my mind, for just another day.

The earth is gonna swallow you, now
Your walls are breaking sound.
Promises broken,
Now I bring your down.

Friday, 13 July 2007

The Shade


Spend the night shaping a smile,
On the rooftops of down below.
Gaze through the stars – stared at the moon
I missed you more than you could know.

Where were you when brothers surrounded me?
Yours is a face that gets me high.
I know I’m a wreck and I’ve come undone,
But at least I found a reason to smile.

Miracles forgotten like the words in my head,
Future’s wasted, I’m a selfish son.
Will you like me with my new face?
I’m a thing of shapes to come.

When it’s over we sing our song,
Fucking sober, you don’t belong,
Between ten inches of shade that I stole from this pain,
You run and hide, you can’t take the rain.