Saturday 29 December 2007

Blue Star

...funny are the words you say...the words you preach...forgetting, like you never did before...you might be just like me with someone disappointed or more expecting from you...expectations...how they fall when you see yourself in the mirror, don't you see you've changed from what you used to be? The way you've drained all the colours you once draped yourself in...the way you taught me how to dream and do the impossible...the way you smilled when you read what i wrote and we would spend hours talking about our little hopes...well, you're turning into a puppet now and all that once remained with you is washing away like your regrets in the rain...though there is still hope...there is no way out of this...so let me find my own...maybe, rationality is just a word for cowards...so often i used it to justify and preach to myself how i should be and what i should be and especially what i can't be and will never even try thus...but not anymore...let me be the crazy one, let me sometimes go astray...how will i ever learn if you chart out the roads for me and tell me where they lead to...?

I don't know of the future to come...and you don't too...whatever you have today may fall apart tomorrow, so what makes you so sure of things not working out for me??...fuck your rationality...seriously...you are not wrong but am i...to hope, to dream...and thus, to work towards making it possible....???


No.

Friday 28 December 2007

Monkey Wrench

*ahem*


onelastthingbeforeiquitineverwantedanymorethanicouldfitintomyheadistill
remembereverysinglewordyousadiandalltheshitthatsomehowcamealongwith
itstillthere'sonethingthatcomfortsmesinceiwasalwayscagedandnowimfree.

thank you



over but not out.

Wednesday 19 December 2007

Muse


You came to me like words, broken
And I turned you into a song.
Humming your sweet tune devoid of sorrow
I walk down the roads that might take me somewhere.
Far away but still near, always
Close to you.
You said I could mould you.
Shape you free, and yes you were
Like clay.

You came to me like a revolution, forgotten
With all the idols washing down brick walls,
Like promises from my ear.
With all the heroes burning out, turning into statues.
Everyday they play, dance away
To ashes, dust
It never changes, catatonic
Like paper planes that take flight,
Only to be still.
Like hollow flags that are raised, beautiful
Just to sway in the wind.

You came to me like a stranger, lost
Went everywhere with a rear-view mirror,
Karma dice, colours, music and sanity in tow.
Always contemplate how far you’ve come.
And still, you told me the way a tree bends.
Always lament how far you’d go.
Told me where to follow, lead.
Told me all the things unsaid,
Blasphemous whispers in my sleep.
Shelter, sparks
I feel tonight.
Never knew cold fingers running down my back
Could feel so warm.

Sunday 9 December 2007

Moths


Words they say are just like stones.
Alone, unbroken
Not weathered by time
Nor bound by expectations.
Unchanged
With the seasons gone by.
But I’m not.

Sometimes when I get to thinking,
Of the way you were carved
I slip, I fall
Away, Far away
From my mould they said he made for me,
Or maybe I made for myself.
See the way you look when they
Remember you.
Everything else is remembered
But I’m not.

Mother, is it safe for spring tonight?
Mother, will this
Pass me by?
There’s a fire today, deep in your eyes
Let’s call it the sun
Let’s call it
The sun today.
Where I came by as a thief,
And now am left a vagabond.

And this is beautiful like everything else
That lasts.
The last one to fade shan’t go away too fast.
Bitter taste on my tongue and figures lost in
The wilderness
And you and I are just,
Two moths
Dancing alone again,
Into the fire.

Friday 7 December 2007

Gravedigger


Let us depart to the valleys high,
Let us try to live a lie,
Let not the day go down in sighs,
May we the living, rest in dirt.

Lest all your fears are signified,
Like a drama lost behind your eyes,
You’re a believer who’s got no one to confide,
And I still yield to your hurt.

To search for something that’s still alive,
Unlike the children of ’45,
May you pray upon my demise,
Deep in your shadows, I lurk.

And like a smile that is denied,
The hope in the future of a million tear-stained eyes,
But mother, its raining death tonight,
And the sky is azure no more.

Do you walk the fields where your fathers lie?
Do you hear them whisper when you pass them by?
‘History shall repeat itself again’,
‘Yes, oh my son, just like before’.

So I still raise that flag and listen to every word you say,
It lies wasted, like the hollow documents of democracy,
Like the promises of tomorrow that lead us astray,
But love the country that doesn’t believe in you.

To earn medals and go down in history,
You cannot see what you’ve done to me,
Use and throw, a tool from the grocery store,
And soon I shall join you father,
For now I’m just passing through.

The Pain I Love


You know my name and not my face,
We’ve sung this song before.
Your fingerprints don’t leave a trace,
As you crawl right through my door.

What do you see and want me to be,
Caged tonight in the thoughts of you.
I run in circles when I’m free,
I only love it when I’m hurting you.

He stares at the mirror and doesn’t know his face,
I weep and weep as I weave my wicked craft.
Don’t you know I want you on a crucifix?
With pins and needles in your heart.

Shining lights and the words they say,
Too true and precious to borrow.
Let us commit our little sins today,
We’ll be forgiven tomorrow.

Let me go astray tonight,
No one left to torture in this world.
No strips to mask your bloody wounds,
No noise of pain I haven’t heard.

Some Rain Must Fall


A heart wrapped in darkness,
A soldier freed from sorrow.
A whiff of the past is better,
Than the stench of tomorrow.

Time will make me a miser,
As we will our end to pass.
I’m not getting any wiser,
Head me back to the start.

Where do we again to begin?
All the answers are lost in your eyes.
And I confess, my only sin,
All I did was to let it die.

Now everything has been said before,
There are just no more words left to borrow.
The rot of the past is better,
Than the decay of tomorrow.

There are strangers in your room,
And there is blood in your hall.
They shall haunt you soon,
You know some rain must fall.

Fool

....happy i am.


why does it feel weird when i write these words...?? Yes, it's been long...too long perhaps...but now that you're here, let's walk outta this place..drive me far away and don't leave me be...got you like a poem i wish i wrote...but now it's mine...mine...future retarded that i am, i stop to contemplate still...but i guess i shall believe it this time...and stop guessing too, fool...you'll never get far...cuz you're already there.

Last Words


Knowledge is confusion,
Ignorance is bliss.
The future’s just a hit and miss.
Now the rope is hanging,
Long and slow.
I swear I had no place else to go.

Gutterflower


Gutterflower, gutterflowers,
Rushing in on the midnight hour.
Deep in the day,
Why not in bloom?
Take the heat from the sun,
To shine with the moon.
Or take root in darkness,
With me and die.

Tuesday 4 December 2007

Tuesday

Your calls from the cold...how I miss them...she thinks the truth will set us free. Well, maybe it will...i don't know...not the one who's good with answers...always better with getting you nowhere...till yesterday i was sure i could fly...now I am glad I've found out that walking on the ground is way much better...way more harder...way more beautiful...but not more than you.

This wheel is spinning me...Dave sings this one like a memorized lullaby never meant to be forgotten...he says we're temporary, just another soul for sale, we're not permanent...same ol' story....sing along my friends, sing along...refuse to hear the one that's inside...no, not god...you.

But then again, who are you....who are you....who are you?

Aren't we all just pretenders in here...?Too cowardly and too imperfect to ever be perfect again....but are still willing to try otherwise through futile means to achieve the unreachable...to do the impossible...it aint right, it's never been...impossible is something.

But times like these are important, they should never fade, they should consume you and leave you be forever, they should give you epiphanies with coloured flags fluttering in the wind and with eagles soaring in the sky, they should make you believe you're not alone.




Dear loneliness,
I'm not.

Sunday 2 December 2007

Cliches

I hate to watch you go,
But I love to watch you leave.
Everyday is just an hourglass,
Like sand through my hands, you recede.

The armies all departed,
Now I’m down to just one.
And I think of songs to sing to you,
But the lines just won’t come.

I still need your crazy touch,
Or maybe I just feel too much.
Down this time for the final time,
Maybe I just feel too much.

Touch

There I was on a lazy winter morning.
Writing songs to your name.
Thinking about how the sky would look
From your window,
As you wake.
Half drugged state of paranoia,
Mixed with sweet lament.
Here I am.

There I was,
Surrendering to this brief moment.
As nicotine burned my throat,
And many hot cups of tea filled me up
With you to pass the day.

And there I was, you should have seen,
Branches broken by the eagle,
Just in time for the obligation.
And the promises I wish I could keep.

Here I am on a lazy winter morning,
Writing songs to your name.
Here I am,
There you were.

My maiden and I

Losing reasons to be understood.
But there are proportions to be defied.
Chained myself to the roads we’ve traveled,
Like chaos in my mind.

A reason to be flown away,
Like the words that ebb tonight.
Oh so lovelorn,
My maiden and I.

A heart drenched in silence,
But a voice that couldn’t die.
Passive, as I watch her drifting,
Nourish my selfish pride.

Blinded, in your flame I am.
Picturesque, you haunt my eyes.
Oh so lovelorn,
My maiden and I.

Are you a deceiver?
Tearing down my walls.
I know they will forgive,
Purge us when we call.

I’ve been down this sad, dark forest,
And now your arms are open wide.
Oh so very lovelorn,
My maiden and I.