So numb when you sing
The hearts you break
Well now they dance all around you
Can you see me now?
Can you watch me from afar?
Will you hold this down one more time?
Well you shake this feeling off?
You’re the same
Such a strange numb
Watch me slide into this
Nothingness…for I am done.
Lost without misery
My only friend
The sweetest despair
And here comes the rain
Right on cue
Out on the fallen hero
The yesterday’s man
Feelings subside like waves in the sea
But you don’t have to hold this hand
The moth that the light has forsaken
But god bless you all
God bless you for the songs you sing.
I am the second one now
No medals no trophies or rhymes for me
No I don’t need
I don’t need this company
Let me get lost in the crowd
I want to be forgotten
Like the city I am in
A city of ghosts and angels alike
Where souls rest with mere mortals
It’s a pretty pretty sight.
I look up to the sky
And I get so high
I watch the blue turn to black
And then I get to thinking
You’re the same numb
When you sing with broken hearts
Well they dance around you
They dance all around you, now.
Friday, 27 April 2007
So numb when you sing
Sweet as a bone
That you throw me
Well don’t you know my presence of mind?
Speed kills when I wake up with roses
Strawberry fields I know I don’t
No I don’t need this.
Too deep beneath the surface
Far far too kind
Too hurt beyond repair
This song that I wrote, aint really mine…
This hollow moon
I will die in your arms
If you were dead too.
River is empty
I went there today
Took some of my questions
Flood em all in water’s way.
Little things we hide
To know my future again baby
Well it aint no surprise
Out of cover
Trenches up and down
The battle’s lost
I hear no sounds.
Just steps receding
Every other hour
Tongues rolled down and out
Like a sugar coated sour.
Inside a hurt that wont go with time
You’re right here girl
Only I know how you’re not mine
And it wasn’t that easy you know
To get to you my sinful star
The summer’s finally up
Lift your head
Crack your spine
Steal some shade
Take me away leave me astray.
Any minute that I got the world on a fishhook
You’re the wave,
You’re the wave that takes it away.
No crowds in the street
This time I walk on my own
Come on down your slow gray walls
Here comes the sun…I cant
No I can’t, I won’t look
Need some shade tonight
Doused these flames
Chasing your car down the line
These rains won’t get slow
Come and rest in my shade tonight.
Hey beautiful, come and get me
I can wait here forever
This rain has set me free
I am running, I’d like to take you with me
Wrong again, so I lie
Give in to my wasted tries
You know I cant be all that you want me to be
I am just a boy
Maybe a man, but not for long
Two steps away from where I was.
Spinning, dancing, call out my name
Forget it all and walk with me
You know how I long to hold
You warm warm hands
Whatever you say is all right
You needn’t make me understand.
Slide overhead, soul is sleeping
Let this be another so and so
Let me come undone
I’ve only just become…nothing.
Satellite, come and get me
Or watch me from afar.
Wait for me by the clouds
Did you get to be a star?
This is just round and round
Like in circles we go.
Give me all you know.
I’m still lying here, arms open wide.
Calling out your name.
If you knew how I see you in my eyes,
Will you look at me the same?
Questions turn to answers
And these answers fall away.
I don’t know why I came here
Now I feel like I can stay…
So do you still talk,
When it rains down on you?
I wanna hold you like nothing’s free
I wanna tell you all the things I wanted to.
But every time you come around
This beam takes me back into time
I wanna tell you everything
I just can’t make up my mind.
Saturday, 21 April 2007
She stands nest to the window
As the wind blows by.
Watches the sea rising,
Then pretends to smile.
All alone again
In her lonely home
Smiling eyes shining
Through holes in the door.
Hear his footsteps on her head
Taking pictures lying on the bed.
So pretty and white as she smiles again
There are words on the wall that she wrote in vain.
She stood in your room
Some words she said.
You just turned away
You’ve been living in your head.
With nails in your head,
You’re getting high.
This house is filled with smoke
And the tears you’ve cried.
Wish I were that dog
That sleeps outside your home.
Watch you smile everyday
As you throw me the bone.
Well I’m like your broken windowpane
I’m the wind blowing by your shores.
Let me sing lullabies as you sleep again
I’ll leave through the holes in your door.
There in you sky,
Stars are sinking like stones.
I’m back to the start again
It’s not a place where I belong.
Seems I’m the only one
Waiting for a change.
Now I see the sun,
But I wish it would rain…
I wanna runaway with you
Down these roads I haven’t been.
Throw my mask and drive away
Just one day from the obscene.
The things that I do
To the one I love.
Bend her till she breaks
Push her till I shove.
Like the sun sinking in my rearview mirror
Shining like the things I’ve left behind.
You should know you’re still the one
Who’s always shining in my mind.
Thursday, 12 April 2007
Lately I’ve been coming down,
With a friend’s hand in mine.
Crazy but I dream again.
I’ll believe it this time.
Yes, I know it never comes around
I can try in vain.
But if I never, I’ll never know
Of tomorrows to begin.
You should see the way she smiles
The way she walks with tears in her eyes.
The way she looks when she looks away
And leaves me there, with nothing to say.
I remember that dance,
Beside your stereo crass.
No distance between us as once was
Fingers clutching the day to pass.
When she swims around me
I hear the words she didn’t say.
When she walks me by
I got songs in my head.
Spinning in an empty room
With arms open wide.
I’ll do it all to be
The one who makes you smile.
I’ve been waiting for you to show me
That road you took to hell.
I’m transparent for her to know me
But why even know yourself?
Wednesday, 11 April 2007
She’s got a wound that doesn’t heal
It’s burning, burning out again.
She’s got a heart that doesn’t kneel,
She’s walking, walking out again.
She’s got a room full of photographs,
A hand full of scars.
One for each day,
That she fell apart.
She’s got a box full of letters
A head full of hurt.
And she’s alone tonight,
She’s all used up.
She’s got nowhere to go,
Nowhere she can turn.
She turns around to face her past,
But it only burns.
The wound grows deeper than the skin
She knows how to hide.
She runs till out of breath,
And forces a smile.
Her hope runs underneath all day
Washing with water down the drain.
Standing like a kid whose lost her dreams
Lost her dreams in the rain.
She screams, nobody’s listening
They’ve left her all alone.
Didn’t get her message that without love,
A house doesn’t make a home.
Everything is broken
And what isn’t, is breaking down
It’s not right to hate it all away
With your head out in the clouds.
Take his hand, learn how to love
Be selfish for yourself
You’ve had enough.
How long can you stay divided?
Divided, like the razor’s edge.
Its time for us to be getting up.
We the weak say she’s strong,
And it won’t be long
We the right say she wrong,
And she won’t be gone.
Let her find where she belongs
Beyond this setting sun
Still waiting for that day
This is her song now,
This is her song.
The wind from the window hit me like sharp icicles on my face...I was with Zehra, snug as a bug on the last seat in my bus...my face the target...save me!
Sorta like she heard me from the far even though she had my walkman on...I had no gloves...she was only wearing one on her right hand...she switched it to the other one and gave me her naked hand...
'My hands are too cold...'
'Atleast it's better than cold hearts.'
I never let go till college came,and for once, I didn't feel the icicles.
Monday, 9 April 2007
All my life
Just the last scene.
Roses and curtains
Are all I’ve seen.
The lights go down
I’m no one again.
Break this mould
Shed my skin.
The people, they love it
All they do is cheer.
Like painted faces with painted smiles
That’s not what I want to hear.
Al my life
What have I seen?
You know I’ve failed you, love
When I can’t change a thing.
Sweeping exits hurt the most,
Not your offstage lines.
The roles that are there for you and him,
I wish they were mine.
Well, I’m just a player
In a cast that’s severe.
I’ve got pages filled with ink,
And a scene called ‘nightmare’.
It doesn’t make much sense
All I got to do is fall.
With just a string on my back,
It’s a long way down to nothing at all.
The clocks are ticking,
Time is wasting away.
I know my lines,
But I don’t know how to say.
It’s been hard to come this far,
From where I once began.
And as this darkness surrounds me,
I wish you’d take this hand.
This is my life,
It’s the last scene.
Waiting for the roses now,
Like I’ve always been.
Ain’t no sound when I sleep tonight,
Wide awake I lie waiting by no one’s side.
There’s a song in my head that keeps playing over & over again.
This is just not enough – I can’t always swim.
So don’t wait for me,
Stand by the squares.
Transmissions falling down,
And you just stare…
But I can look forever
Get high with me just this time.
Try to stand on your feet,
Our steps would always rhyme.
I am a black and white photograph,
Screaming out your name.
Look at me and smile like you always do,
Sleep on my shoulder, and I’ll smell your skin.
Am I out of line?
Am I out of time?
Clocks ticking forever, girl
But it feels good to know you’re mine.
Thursday, 5 April 2007
Twisting and turning, like the thoughts in my head.
I want to hold your hand, even if you lead me astray
I’ve just begun; I can do this all day.
Dancing in a city lit by fireflies,
Been losing sleep thinking about your eyes.
Been searching for something I know I won’t find,
Help my forget it all, wake by your side.
I can be wrong, I’ve always been
I can be strong, hard and mean.
I’ll be everything you wanted to find
But I can’t be your or like one of your kind.
Walls are crumbling, they’re falling away
I’m fumbling and crawling, you leave me this way.
I beg to differ and lose myself
You know tomorrow’s just another day.
This is not just a call; it’s an ache in disguise.
This ain’t just a fall, it’s the sweetest surprise.
I’ve been down this road too many times
But not with you, so I’ll wait tonight.
Tuesday, 3 April 2007
But it didn’t have your name.
Don’t know who we are
When all we do is change.
I wore a mask, I swear,
I tried to make it right.
I always give up easily,
But not this time without a fight.
Lit a candle this morning,
Watched the flame dance and sway.
Like hope recedes to ashes,
I saw it fade away.
But you’re still here
Breathing by my side.
I know this won’t change
But it’s still all right.
Are all my own.
It is here, where
I walk all alone.
I do my time
Till the sun is shone.
Then I stride –
A stone among stones.
Past is buried
In these alley walls.
It’s shouting like the scriptures
In a shopping mall.
And a kid’s graffiti
That reads louder than words.
Louder than silence,
When the lights go down
I hear a symphony that’s crass.
People say its waltz,
But I say it’s jazz.
They can’t stop fighting
They can’t let it go.
So I start drinking
To warm my bones.
It gets so cold
So cold at night.
Children singing songs
Mothers passing by.
Ghosts of soldiers
Waving in their suits.
Just got back from war,
With their medals and their dirty boots.
Old man singing about
His long lost love.
Hands are open wide,
To something up above.
I never pray
I just do my time.
Here on this street
The stories are all mine.
My only company is ‘change’.
Even if this couldn’t lead nowhere
I swear I’ll be the same.
Sweetest stranger with the blackest eyes
Broken wings and shining light.
Born to lose, but win and die.
You on my shoulder, the world passed me by.
And these roads I choose to sear,
My company remains the same.
Even if this could lead nowhere
I swear I’ll keep walking.
Never mind these bad times
Its something I choose to forget.
Down these roads with hard lines,
Everything shan’t end up in regret.
Though it really doesn’t matter
Couldn’t change it if I tried.
I know it doesn’t matter
I’ll do it till I get it right.
Sunday, 1 April 2007
but i will anyway....
i wudnt wanna change a thing now that ive come this far down this road ive been on so many times....yes i know i know iam wrong when i say this but whose listening anyway...?
can u lie there waiting?
i'll just follow you....
i can be anything u want me to be...i will run for cover...i will roll like thunder clouds hanging above you...i'll wear a mask...i'll learn spells...i'll smoke...i'll drink...
i'll do it all...everything.
just dont tell me to keep your secrets.
i always fuck it up.
and you,listen up
i am a boy
i am a kid.
not a man.
dont wanna be.
Is this the new year or just another light?
Closer to the edge and never the same.
Chase me through the dark, pretend you know my name.
It’s shifting constantly from the distance to here
Never knew anything till I knew fear.
It’s getting dark around me, dear
But I won’t just stand and watch you disappear.
Shine your halo; open your wings wide,
There’s a heavy wind that’s blowing tonight.
Let me get lost in your smiling eyes,
For all we know, its gonna be alright.