Wednesday, 28 February 2007


You should look at my baby when she cries
So beautiful – heaven in her eyes.
I’ll die to get there, I do and I try
But they put her in a car and they drove her by.

Now I see angels in my dreams,
The future’s never what it seems.
The past is a place I’ve never been,
Down these roads but I remember everything.

I smile and I smile in vain,
To hide my lies and cover the shame.
They say you weren’t an easy friend,
Deep in your heart – I’ll meet again.

You should look at my baby when she cries
You should see my girl with tears in her eyes.
She told me to wait for tomorrow’s surprise,
But they put her in a car and drove her by.

Now I dream of her everyday,
I walk down the roads she used to stay.
Pretty and white, the things she would say,
Well, I’ll wait love – I’ll wait my life away.

I hear your whispers across the hall,
Their twisted voices mean nothing at all.
Lights go down and I’m two feet small,
Never knew gravity till I took the fall.

You should look at my baby when she cries,
I catch the tears from the corner of her eye.
She chooses to pretend, forces a smile,
And becomes a living picture in the frame of self – denial.

Yes I know she isn’t real.
But my friends, I don’t pretend I feel.
I’ll surrender I’m not afraid to kneel,
If you ask me, love is surreal.

Two more minutes, I watched you go
Disappear behind a bend in the road.
I heard you humming songs of long ago
I hope you still sing, just like before.

I saw my baby and the way she cried,
She put her face against the glass, wished to fly.
Crimson hair across her face, her hands were open wide,
When they put her in a car and they drove her by…

Tuesday, 27 February 2007


If you read between the lines,
You will see my pain.
Don’t try to hide in empty aisles,
You know I’ll find you there.

I pray until the sun is set,
Asleep from all my pain.
This dream rots to its decline,
Only if this could lead nowhere.

Things are changing,
I’m lonely in my mind.
Past is haunting,
But I’ll leave it behind.

These cages and these alarms,
Won’t keep me safe from harm.
It shall come with silent steps
Drag me away, into the sunset.

I followed you through the field,
You just turned and laughed at me.
You blinked, maybe twice
Then you walked away.

I’ve felt this before
Saw all there was to be seen.
If you don’t know where I’m coming from,
How do you know where I’ve been?

And what’s the use of this world? She said
Where I don’t remember anything.
And I’ve got many songs in my head,
But you’re the reason I sing.

Dog Without A Name

I, I’ve been walking the same
I, I’ve been feeling down again
You, you’ll never change
Cuz I’m always there to take the blame.

Washing down with the rain, the tears that I’ve cried
Walking the roads we used to walk, we call this life.
And in my heads, the thoughts I can’t defuse,
I swear I’ll die to win, cuz I’m born to lose.

Who’s on your side? What’s on your mind?
Where will you go when you have to hide?
It’s not your weight that’s killing me girl,
I love and I hate it when you look at me and smile.

I’ve seen everything that’s never happened before.
Seen love walk right out of the door.
It’s never been this good or this slow,
Now I miss you more than you could know.

I miss you like a pagan; heavens left his side
I miss you like a sinner who’s got no one to confide.
I’m lost and I’m broken, bent at the side,
Let me walk away, leave this behind.

No one sings me lullabies
No one wipes these tears from her eyes.
But if u come down with your weight tonight,
I will hold you a cradle unfilled,
For I am weary of the hide.


Running with the waves
Thinking I am free.
Funny how it changes
Like shorelines and the sea.

I am not your savior
Don’t lay me on a cross.
Lost in the maze of my questions,
I never know the cause.

The moon will go down,
Sun will rise again.
But hopes lie in ashes
Of a new day to begin.

I am not the pretty one
I always feel the pain.
I’ll carry your hurt with me,
I’ll take the blame.

Promises washing down my ear,
I need to feel something real.
Hold me close, even though you’re far,
I knew this love would disappear.

Monday, 26 February 2007

1:03 one's online...just finished listening to HOW I MISS YOU by FOO FIGHTERS....DAVE GROHL is in my head...i wanna be just like him...

If you're leaving,
come back soon.
That's not easy to say...

I dont know where Iam going...and unlike most times...i dont know where to go...they want me to be perfect...oh damn,iam running away from more safe choices in my head...oh Juliana,come back...u've left me like this...then i was just a iam just a man...

These ramblings never help cuz they never mean a thing to anyone else...why can't i be like you? Why can't I, for once, forget who i am...or,where I've come from...i guess its in my past to presume..

Did I lose you...
Did I lose you...?
Somewhere down the line...
Hide and seek's alright if I find

I can't think straight anymore...I don't dream the same anymore...I'll never be what I was...but I guess I'll always be a dreamer cuz my dreams never come true...
If my dreams were a would be over flowing with rusted stuff...

Iam sinking deep below...need a place...need a hand...I know I know I know you're there...but damn whose to say of tomorrows..maybe you'll just be another dream...

I will wait here,
Dream of you.
All alone as I ache.

Friday, 23 February 2007


I got a ball rolling
Around my head
There are memories of everything
I’ve ever felt

This road I’m walking,
Just the same.
Down and out
But never again.

Do you want my paycheck?
Are you looking for a name?
Well you can keep the money, bitch
And you could go insane.

She kisses mirrors,
Reflection of her face.
They say she’s beautiful
A living picture in a frame.

They say she’s everything
I don’t see the same.
Now she’s dancing in the courtyard
Screaming all my names.

I wanna see you naked
In her body and her thought.
Lay you down like a grenade,
Blow the fucking pin off.

- Sometimes I feel horny too...


When you look in the mirror,
What do you see?
I see a little boy,
He can never be free.

I see an old man
With scars on his hands
But you never see me,
You’ll never understand…

Down by the wayside,
I found it to be true.
I thought what I wish for,
And ended up hurting you.

Have you kissed the enemy?
Are you living a lie?
You fall down broken and empty,
And you call this life.

Well I won’t change
I won’t break this mould.
I’ll get to see you again,
When we meet down this road.

-Another 5-minute poem.


I know I’ve come
Down this road.
For once, I feel
Like letting go.

Midnight’s swimming
Too early today.
Fingers still clutching
The dawn to pass…

Falling, on my knees
Dancing, on the street
Feeling, like I’m free now…
Singing, songs relief
Dreaming on a tree
Feeling, like I’m free, now.

The past is almost over
The earth is red no more.
I remember where we used to sing
Of after and before.

Come on down with your weight, tonight
Time to be what we are
Rid a child of his frowns,
Touch my body, feel my scars.

Falling, on my knees
Dancing, on my feet
Feeling, like I’m free now…
Sing, songs – believe
Dreaming, you and me
Feeling, I’ll get there, somehow…

So, unlock your hands and touch my spine
The past was yours, but the future’s not mine.
Been everywhere, made everything my home,
Which song you’re gonna sing to when I lie all alone?

Come to me and make me believe
Make me lose myself; break walls that are wearing thin.
I’m becoming sublime without trying to hard,
Oh well, you can’t always swim.

-dedicated to the one true rainchild, Ishita.


Falling down
With my face to the ground,
And everything
That made me sing.
It disappears and fades away
Like the noise that surrounds
Bitter taste in my mouth, still
Haunts of an unfinished drink.

Who am I?
My story’s the same.
I think I know it all,
‘Cuz I’ve played the game.
No boy, you’re wrong – you’re blind
The game plays you,
You can’t walk the line.

Watcha gonna do when
The tides get high?
I clipped your wings, now
You can’t fly.
You can’t soar,
Though you dream it all.
Don’t look back, don’t look down,
Face the sky and take the fall

Saturday, 17 February 2007

Child B

Home is where the hurt is
But hurt is my home
Bruises on my face
I can’t call this life my own.

There’s a hand over my mouth
Eyes wide shut with fear
Sing me your songs
Just lullabies to my ear.

Not like the sun that’ll rise at dawn
Hurt a child and a monster’s born
Knots around my hands, now
Don’t know where I belong.

You push until you shove
You bend until you break.
Break me into pieces
I’ll choose to call it ‘fate’.

Naked, fake it
Mistakes in my head
Surreal, disappear
Lend me your name.

Mind Riot

Washing down the writing on the wall
Feeling lost and oh so small
Lights go out and the noise goes down
I’ve seen it all; I’ve seen it all.

Who do you follow? Where do you lead?
Lost causes and questions in my head.
The city streets beneath my feet
They make it harder to walk away…

Walking still,
I feel my mind riot.
This place makes it worse,
All this noise inside the quiet.

Everyone’s asking questions
From the distance to my home
Leave me be here in my mind
No one sings like you anymore…

You’re jaded…you’re faded
I’ll leave you alone.
So god damn serrated
Grinding through my bones.

Standing still while,
I see the others run and hide
The voice inside my head makes it worse
All this noise inside the quiet.

Running in circles
Dancing in squares
Chasing you down unknown roads
Only if this could lead nowhere…

Dumb Sex

Sordid she lay, in a washed out room.
I made her naked, she made me too.
Now let me sleep in the bed that I’ve made
Pretend to sleep, and dream awake.

Tears in her eyes now, she feels the pain
Dried up sores and hopes in vain
This fire’s burning somewhere inside
But she can smile just the same…

Needs are vague and a past forgotten
Stripped so bear and thoughts to come
She’s laughing at me and all that I am,
And the man I wouldn’t become.

Yes I like the big dumb sex
Some things are so easy to forget
This one will be hard to remember
Down my road of endless regrets.

You’re so pretty and white
Fucking pretty when you’re faithful
I can stare at you forever
But I’ll never see you, beautiful.

Wednesday, 14 February 2007


Its valentine all you people,dance like with the hollowness inside of you that you're too shallow to see...maybe i am this pissed off cuz all my frends are miserable and i cant get laid but then again i am like ashish...single ready to mingle,but really dont care...yeah,i aint desperate...

how does it feel to be one of the beautiful people....?

well how would i know?
and dont u already have that answer....?


Coming down the line
Heaven just a lie
Falling from my eyes
Are the tears I’ve cried

Went to my head
Leaving all I’ve known behind
But just spend a day there
To feel the stench and the grind.

Baby said, ‘I wanna fly’
I said I’d bring you wings
She said she wants to hide
From my hopes and my dreams

But you don’t know the boy
You don’t know the man
You only love the poet,
With scars on his hands...

Yes I know I am like you
But maybe I am not
These streets I walk, silence is mocking me
But silence is all I’ve got

Only I know how I’ve lost
Burned my dreams in the rain
If I knew what u meant to me from before
I’d get up and do it again

And you don’t love the boy
And you don’t like the man
You only love the poet,
With scars on his hands…

Wednesday, 7 February 2007


I got a little shoebox with my memories in
I have some scotch to drown my sins
My regret runs along with me the day I’m alone
Blood, sweat and tears – I call this home.

I’ve an old guitar and it sounds all right
I write songs to her name and I sing them all night.
Tins on the floor, damn pipes have sprung a leak
The silence is mocking me but no one speaks.

I got a black book with my poems in
Do you need some protection…the thin of the skin?
Across the hallway, the light is shown
Black, white and gray – I call this my home.

I got old dolls with broken heads – they might upset a child
Two is an odd number, but I’ll try to reconcile.
I got a room full of photographs, box full of letters
The things that didn’t last are the things that don’t matter.

I got the wrong calendar for the right year
Got a tattered piece of junk that could pass as a phone.
I had a pair of really good-lookin’ black boots,
But now they’re gone.

I’m fading away into reality, the oblivion of time
Some words in my life still don’t rhyme.
Sometimes I want to scream, fill the hall with my moans
Too much freedom – I call this my home.

- dedicated to the homeless

Tuesday, 6 February 2007


When dreams are forgotten
And eyes long to lust.
I can say I’ve come a long way
Down this road of golden dust.

I know I’m wrong
I never know when I’m right
Just a stranger, a hitchhiker
Looking for a ride.

Look at me through the eyes of a stranger
All you’ll see would be pain.
Come out, come on down - no use in hiding,
Let me settle in.

They come and preach me,
Tell me to be sober.
I gaze with my hollow eyes,
It’s not over.

There was a day,
There was a time
When I ripped my wings
Off of my spine.

But now every time I look,
Deep in your eyes,
I feel like I’m reborn,
I pretend I can fly…

Sunday, 4 February 2007


Sinking in the field,
Dying in the darkness,
Consumed by time’s tide,
Sinks a lonely sun.

But fear not, oh my friend,
Tomorrow it shall shine again.
For the day is yet
To come…


Nothing could compare
To the moment I open up my gaze.
Only to find you there
And I’m lost in your smile
Can you help me be,
The way I was before?
I need to feel alive.
To see the world changed
I made a deal with the devil
And lost my name.
I lost my self,
And I lost my soul.
I lost my baby,
Wish I had it all…
The future is bright
But I hope, that future’s not burning.
And I let the past be
The way it was, insignificant.
You can’t light it up,
For all I know.


Learning to accept the change,
Until you don’t look inside
You just don’t know
How you’ve been the same.

I’m walking this road brother
Can you see me now?
Something is different,
Everything tastes bitter and sour.

The little that you have,
Makes you want to have more.
Like being marooned on an island,
And you can’t find the shore.

Bad times, we’ve been wrong,
And for every broken heart,
There is a song.

I’m learning to fly
You taught me how to say goodbye
And as I look over to yesterday,
I can go back to being me.

And as all the losses are restored,
Now we can lead our lives.

- Dedicated to my bro, Amon


I run, chasing shadows
In your empty corridors,
Transcending off into the light.
And they say I’m okay
But I seem a little lonely
As I sing for you tonight…

You’re someone who doesn’t belong here
Maybe you should choose
A road for yourself, now.
But if you seem lost, love
Remember, I am your eternal guide.

So come on, pick up that razor
Shed your skin at last.
Know for sure, that here,
Everything is slow,
But time goes by fast.

I run chasing dreams
In your empty halls.
And I find you in my sight
Even if it may cost my soul,
I’ll sing free for you, tonight.


I’m a man on the ledge
I got nowhere to turn.
All the ropes and knots,
And second thoughts live in isolation.

Puddles on the floor, know you’ve come
Salt in the wound, know you don’t care
Don’t try to find me in empty halls,
I’m already here.

How can you not know what you’ve done?
You were wrong all the time.
With time on your side,
You made me lose mine.

Something you just can’t change,
We’ve grown up orphans, again
With a cross and a song,
I’ll carry your memories with me.

Let the wind carry me away,
With the leaves, I’ll dry up and blow.
I’ll find the answer in my own sadness,
One day, we all must go.

Saturday, 3 February 2007


When all of your wishes are granted, some of your dreams will be destroyed…when none of your wishes are granted, all of your dreams will be destroyed…

Bring me scissors; I’ll cut my tongue
I don’t wanna fly no more.
Bring me mirrors; I’ll forget everything,
Of after and before.

Bring me razors,
Sweet diamonds in my fire.
I’ll retire with my dreams,
And a life uninspired.

Redemption is right where I fell,
Salvation might just be another hell.
And forgiveness, it takes its toll,
I am a broken man, searching for gold.

Towns in my window,
Ghosts of yesterday.
A life that’s unfolding
Like a travesty that fades away.

The poet needs a muse,
The boy needs a hand.
The child needs something to hold on to,
When he becomes a man.

Bring me fire; I’ll burn my dreams
My eyes are open wide.
Bring me desires; I don’t need anything
Now I’ll choose to hide.

So bring me your love
Ask me your name.
Here you don’t belong,
And I don’t play these games.

Redemption is stories to tell
Salvation is right where you fell.
Emptiness, I feel it all,
Lights go down and I’m two feet small.

And I’m falling down,
Arms outstretched, to meet the open sea.
Oh, I’m burning out on this road,
I’d like to take you with me.

I wish and I wish, to be true,
Am I so wrong that I need you?

I need you like the poet needs his muse,
Like a child needs a hand.
Like who boy who wants someone to love,
When the boy becomes a man.

…and the only thing that hurts, is that at the end of the day, words don’t mean a thing.