The Game

I see you out in the rain.
The tears fall out of nowhere,
And land at your feet.
You just stand there
Staring, staring at me with those eyes.
You make me want to
Draw a picture of you.
And keep it for always,
Beside my window.
So that whenever it rains,
I can still see you outside.
I can’t see the feelings,
That you hide.
Relieving them will just
Fuel their selfish pride.
The flowers in your hand
Are dry, maybe because
You want them to be.
You’ve saved them for me.
I can smell you from my door.
Taste your feelings and fears.
You’re standing so far away,
Still I can see you near me.
I don’t know if you can hear it,
Hearts beating out loud.
Although the name’s changed,
Inside we’re all the same.
Come on in inside,
We’ll start the game.

Waiting

Clocks are ticking, round and slow,
In this room, shadows are my only friend.
My thoughts wander as I wait by the door,
I long for the light in your eyes and the touch of your skin.

Cobwebs stretching on the wall,
Legs on the edge, contemplate the fall.
I kiss the mirror as the light is shown,
Sing me your songs when I lie all alone.

Dreaming with my arms open wide,
There are broken words all over the floor.
And in the corner, letters from an unknown man,
Who wouldn’t let me be the child I am.

In this slumber, I rise
With a body grown too old.
The things that are there in my head,
I wish you never know.

Disillusioned by the years, I am not the only one,
But everyone has found a place, and I have just begun.
The future’s not the same, there’s madness in it all,
I’ll take my ground and stand by you, though I’m bound to crawl.

They got to tell you something,
When you’re losing out on hope.
Running out of fingers, counting
The mistakes that you’ve made.
If this doesn’t get to you,
Well, I’ll hang my head, love,
And I’ll just wait.

Liar

Away, away my days are all gone,
Let me rise, we’ll start again.
In this hunger that I’ve slept so long,
I couldn’t find a reason to stay.

Open your eyes and show me the places,
Where stars forever dwell.
I’ll take the fall with all my faces,
But I’ll never bid thee farewell.

There’s comfort in my wasted tries,
All the moments spent with you.
And since, to you, I cannot lie,
I’ll never say the truth.

Valium

....by me and Shraddha...

Rising to empty spaces,
Eyes wide open, blindly living a lie,
Standing in open waters, dreaming,
Whispering to the waves, flowing into the sky.

And the noise gives way to the silence,
Your voice echoes a thousand miles.
The choir goes off, somewhere in the distance,
I’m just glad I found you tonight.

Shivers, just another dream?
An illusion to soon fade away?
As I run my finger down you’re lips,
Wonder if you’re here to stay.


So I lie to you, make promises I can’t keep,
And whisper in your ears, the things u want to hear.
Down these roads we've travelled, I watch you recede,
Walk away into the darkness and disappear.

Shimmering eyes, in the darkness ignite,
In this melodious silence two bodies begin to sway,
Could you hold me and keep me safe tonight?
As this darkness surrounds don’t you turn away…

Don’t you walk away, be wary of the light,
Surrender to me, your sweet decline.
For us who live in this dream make believe,
The world is just an alibi.

Lay here on my lap as the hours pass by,
Let me look in your eyes and watch myself fade.
Don’t you shy away as you feel the touch of my kiss,
Let it help me forget the caress of the blade.

Strangers

Whole night I lay,
In my bed all alone.
Watching the shadows rise and fall,
At the corner of my room.

With my eyes open wide,
And my ears to the door.
I heard all your secrets,
And all your dirty talk.

I heard all your promises,
As you opened up your thighs.
The lament in your past,
When your limbs collide.

And it didn’t hurt me, still
As I stood by the door.
To hear and watch you panting,
Just like I did before.

His name, you said out loud,
Your cries, they drowned again.
Lost in your own self,
As your blood flew in vain.

Whole night I lay,
In my bed all alone.
I saw shadows of strangers,
They whispered at my door.

I know I don’t have it all,
These words won’t make me your man.
Oh, take me to the slaughter house,
I’ll wait there with the lamb.

Bury me deep, in a place so small
Like a picture faded and grey.
You try to hold on to your cold, stone walls,
You know, you don’t know it will all fall away.

But everyone is lonely tonight,
We all walk on our own.
Trying to glide, through shadows and light,
Looking for a place called ‘home’.

Whole night you lay, waiting by yourself
Empty as my bed, and so alone.
You thought this could have just been hell,
But that’s not how your story goes.

Wished for someone to take you in his arms,
You smiled through your eyes, invitation in a song.
I don’t know who I was before,
But when I came in, a stranger I was…

Everyone In You

I tried to find you in everyone,
And they left me alone.
Now I’ve been everywhere,
I’m a hundred miles away from anything called ‘home’.

I see the good in everyone,
And to them, I’m just the same.
I too, believe what they say I am,
Oh mother, I’ve become a name.

And I tried to find you in everyone,
They told me you’re not there.
I seek your touch that haunts me still,
Your skin is what I wear.

A little lonely, as I sing tonight,
Please, take me as I am.
Don’t let the lights go down into the dark,
Don’t say you don’t understand.

- To the one who will never know of the things in my head...or maybe you will.

Mannequin

Oh my sweet mannequin, sing a little song for me.
I don’t know how we walked this far,
But I know how we came to be.
Borrowed from the heathens, I gave you a heart,
Didn’t lay you on a canvas, but you’re a work of art.

With wires of steel, I grew you your hair.
I seek you in the shadows, but you’re not there.
With crimson and copper, I made you your eyes,
With rings of iron, I gave you wings to fly.

Take my lullabies, these songs of yesterday.
Sing them tonight, sing them for me.
Rid my head of the thoughts I can’t defuse,
Oh my mannequin, don’t walk out of view.

Oh my sweet mannequin, tell me a little lie,
About the distance that you walked.
About the times that you’ve tried,
To light this sad forest that didn’t give you anything
Except darkness in your heart,
Or maybe a song to sing.

And is this what you wanted? To do what I please?
To make me watch you suffer, and walk on your knees.
I am not what they say I am, though I made you this way,
The hollow that’s in your eyes, well it stares at me.

And yes it’s my fault you’re devoid of choices
The man upstairs is used to your screams,
He came down tonight and took away your reasons,
He said you can live without your dreams.

I seek your touch in a state of decay,
A thousand nights I’ve slept alone.
Besides your scarlet scent that never begs to differ,
In a house that’s not a home.

But oh my sweet mannequin, don’t you fall for me.
I made you and then I broke you, just to be free.
I wear masks; I spill deceits from my blackened tongue.
And you can try to spark, this lonely wooden heart,
But for now, the story’s done.

Everyday

I’ve been running around today,
To the places in my head.
Trying so hard to understand,
Everything that you said.

Everything I say is borrowed,
These words are not my own.
You leave me empty and hollow,
Don’t leave me all alone.

You disappear and fade away,
Like reasons in my hands.
Scars to tell what I’ve been through,
But I don’t have enough to make me a man.

So give me all your barbed retorts,
Don’t show me all your dreams.
In the end, you’re all the same,
Just a tear of glycerin.

And I’m just a face, getting lost in the crowd,
Because of you, I can’t figure, what I’m all about.
Because of you, I can’t find, a reason to stay,
And you know I’ll follow, this is everyday.

The Middle Of Everything

Father, forgive me for all my crimes,
I can never be like you.
I know I’ve wasted all my time,
I know I never gave a reason, too.

I never thought I would be like this,
But you see I had no choice.
You gave me everything I wanted,
Then you took away my voice.

But this ain’t a complaint, no sir,
It’s just a point of view.
I don’t like to believe in miracles,
I just want to believe in you.

Mother, forgive me for all my sins,
I can never be like ‘them’.
You know the future isn’t everything,
Don’t tell me to stop when I tell you when.

I never thought I would become this,
I can’t find the words.
Through this void in my head, we travel,
And seek the silence, yet unheard.

But I ain’t crying for help, no ma’am,
I know that you care.
Please don’t tell me what I’m not,
Don’t tell me I’m not there.

Brother, forgive me for all my tries,
You know we’re not the same.
What will I do if I had your life?
Well, I know I’ll take the blame.

I feel good when I see you smile,
Watching the trophies that you earned.
And I feel bad when I see you crying,
But there are lessons to be learnt.

One of us cannot be wrong,
When two of us cannot be right.
I’m running out of numbers and excuses,
And I’m already out of time.

But this ain’t a plea for attention, no man,
This maybe just a call.
Do you ponder when you look in the mirror?
I think I don’t know you at all…

Bitter Pill

She left the town like the way it was,
And I was dreaming of yesterdays.
I didn’t have the answers, never knew the cause,
My thoughts turned to ashes, and then they flew away.

A child died somewhere inside of me,
And a man could not hold back his tears.
For a woman he thought he knew so well,
For a girl who never got to be clear.

Now I know the words I never said,
Words that couldn’t make you mine.
So now I’m killing myself for you,
One day at a time.

The light that shines in your eyes,
Scenes from an unknown place.
They hold you close when you cry,
They can’t see your face…

Oh, she’s more than what she seems,
Walking across the line.
I know I’m wrong like you’ve always been,
But is that such a crime?

I am

You're powerless. No. You really are. You can try to be like everyone else you can't be but you know you can never change, for you just don't have it in you...not like you never did, and the little that you DID have, well, my boy, you're losing it now...and you're losing yourself with it...stop trying to speak cuz your lips are sealed. Stop trying to scream cuz you're not allowed to. Stop trying to say the truth cuz it doesnt help, stop trying to lie cuz it doesnt lead you anywhere...and people, well they are a funny lot...they see things you don't see (or maybe you don't want to) they hear things you can't...

Marx was wrong...there are three classes...the haves, the have nots, and in recent times...there is a new one which has emerged, that can be called the have ''what'nots''....they have everything, and everyone wants to be like them by following their every move...they can be like you anytime they want to be but they wouldn't even try that cuz then they will lose their followers...capitalism is here to stay,Marx is dead and gone...he won't return...the people never liked him, and he died for them. These things take courage, that's exactly what i need, and I know that's exactly what i don't have.

I don't know why it's illegal to kill yourself...like i said, the world is a funny place. They try to kill you everyday, enforce their laws upon you, make you bow down to everything they have created, make you follow the rules that you dont want to, make you see, hear smell touch the things that you rather not smell hear see or touch.Its all a sham, its all a farce...just like me and my words right now that dont mean anything...but i do ask, dont we die everyday when they dont really tell how and dont we live all the more when we really know how we're dying? There are reasons to everything I cant understand...there are situations i cant contemplate...there are people I am losing touch with and still, getting to know.

They tell me the time is now. I keep on thinking it has passed me by. Maybe Iam still waiting for that moment of truth...epiphany...I told a girl who hurt me that she needs it real badly...but no, I need it more than her...I need it now...I am not one of the have 'what nots'...I cant be what i want to be when i dont want to be myself anymore, though that is temporary but its a quality i dont possess, its a gift i dont have...is it necessary, you say? Very, my love, very.

Iam losing myself...becoming nothing again...maybe its all a scam to get your attention like the media these days...but its not just me who maybe lying now, is it?Evryone lies but no one tries to find the truth, a way outta things, the light at the end of the tunnel is fading...but fuck it all cuz I aint hopeless, sometimes i just need to get it outta my head and since that helps, dont plow me down for doing this...this is me...what am i, you ask? Good question...i will tell you when I am ready.



I am.

Shelter March

Don't look for cracks in the wall,

I know the light is shining through bright,

Brighter than any other day.

The wars are never over,

And the good guys always lose.

You know how the people are lead astray.

Humans are sold and bought again,

Never allowed to be free.

War torn lands, but start again,

Make me a refugee.

The sea is endless, the sky so vast,

The way is never shown.

And as I gaze across the mast,

I'm just a name in the unknown.

The wars are won and fought again,

Everyone is too blind to see.

The white dove is sold and caught again,

Just like the refugee.

A Girl Called Bombay

So softly, she slid into my hand,

All alone again, across the line.

She lifts her head to show me the land,

And I leave it there, a masterpiece unsigned.

I met a girl in Bombay.

She told me a lie.

She smiled through her teeth,

But when I turned away, she cried.

She told me her story,

The one I’ve heard before.

Tell me again boy,

‘What is it we’re fighting for?’

I never had the answer,

Too caught up in my own.

I laughed at her dry,

When she carved through her bone.

Pretty faces scare me,

I hide from the sun.

I don’t know who you are anymore,

Or what I’ve become.

Maybe its avarice, my only shame.

Maybe its you, the one I should blame.

Maybe it’s me like it’s always been,

Maybe I’ve finally become a name.

White skin so cold with flowers in her hair,

Like a long lost soldier losing sense of time.

I leave her be in her own world,

Frozen and broken, like a masterpiece unsigned.

So take me down this sad lonely town,

The one that don’t feel mine.

Take me up up and away, far into the sun,

I’ll grow some wings, begin to shine.

Lights go down and they look so pretty,

The one I could never be.

Hide me from my followers, and

Wake with someone by my side.

She never looks before she laughs,

‘I look ugly in a photograph.’

There’s a thing somewhere trapped inside,

The camera can’t see.

Tears she cried that were in vain.

Flowing down tonight with the rain.

I could try to be like you again,

But look in the mirror; you’ll only see me.

I left her there, couldn’t bring her back,

Even if I wanted, for one last time.

Bombay - the city of crumbling walls and dreams,

Like a masterpiece unsigned.

Layla

I see the light in black and white
I’ve become a name.
How do you laugh in a photograph?
Like you always been.

Leave me be the way I am,
Got your songs in my head.
I don’t care where we go,
As long as we’re walking…

Tracing sweat drops down your spine,
Faint smile across your face.
Lines of mascara in your eyes,
Keeping poets at bay.

I hear them calling from afar,
They’re calling out your name.
Lady, you’ve been balanced,
I’m still the same.

Don’t know how to get this through,
For once, I don’t know what to say.
I’m running down the street, looking for answers,
Losing my mind, might just be the only way.

No one tries to close my eyes,
Nothing can do me in tonight.
You’re anything anyone could ever want,
But I’m not like you, I’m not the kind.

Midnight Monologue

Wrote this one with Shraddha...mwah!Love ya dear!

Gazes,confused,she shivers tonight,

cold full moon on a blue sky torn.

tiny ledge,the most romantic place,

tears,shes sitting there all alone.

Head in her knees,wet little dress,

she cries of a home that never was hers,

of the child she could not make smile,

of a body so ugly covered with scars.

Music in her head,shes dancing on the edge

hips swinging slowly to beats she cant understand.

Lips quiver,longing for something to hold,

face awaits the touch of soft smooth hands.

Breathes in,rubs her hand along her neck,

she wishes someone could bite the pain away.

heart longs for a love she never might find,

sings for him,with nothing to say...

alone, cold, he's out of sight

like her in his head, so long gone.

lights a candle, then douse the flames,

when the children of tomorrow are born.

scars on her face, scabs on his hands

try to cut me open when she could not understand.

this distance that kills, this speed that haunts,

between just a mystery of a woman and a man.

rain is falling, dark and slow

the things inside your head, i'll never know.

shrouded in darkness, my lonely heart,

no one sings like you anymore.

And if you're not going my way,

I hope you come around and stay.

And this house may never make a home,

The world leaves us astray, but we're not alone.

Daylight

As this morning light pierces through my skin,

I lie naked and hollow, waiting for the world to begin.

Not my time, so pull me apart,

I've been waiting for the end, I don't know how to start...

You said you were just like me,
Frozen and broken and never free.
When the world wounds you with a battle scar,
You put it out for everyone to see.

Disappointed, as you shed your skin,
Never look behind when you walk this far.
Funny how I lost myself in you,
Now I don't know who we are.

Stabbing Of A Drama Queen

You mend, break so easy,
Sometimes, I could fall.
Your sins, beg to differ,
When I heed your call...

And you crawl right through the floor,
Of vacant spaces in my head.
Can't lie, so I'm bound to watch,
All the times that you play dead.


Being your worthy patron, my faults I know,
Forsake the things I should have said.
Take all your lies and your tears,
No tricks this time, but I'll disappear.


Cry in vain and they tear you apart,
Said you like the pain, now look where you are.
Twisting and turning like the thoughts in my head,
No one said a word when I stabbed the drama queen dead.

End Over End

As far as I've known it, I've always seen the end...I could always contemplate the end better than my peers. I could always see how things in my life would come to an end,and the various reasons people would give afterwords...be it in a relationshipor anything else...I could somehow always tell of the things to come...but as I've grown older in years as time served on this earth, I've come to realize that with somethings, you just can't tell. You can never know how things would shape up in the near future...and its at that precise moment that you realize that nothing in this life is certain, you never know if the truth will set you free or end up captivating you. Sometimes it's good to let things be and the way they are and let it all work out as the time passes by...I dunno where Iam going with this...its already beginning to eat me up. Not the way I had imagined it...atleast in a different dream...but this is way better than anything else, unplugged...one of those great reminders reassuring me again that I've lost my sense of contemplating things...even if I haven't, they ain't as good as they used to be...for the world isn't certain anymore.

Promethea

Now I take thee name as I lay dying,

Bound to rocks and plagued by birds.

Rapture beckons, from way too far,

You're the words made flesh that made fleash into words.

Forsake me father,
Martyr me dead.
Sour a world with alchemy,
Turn gold back into lead.

And your bones are hollowed by heresy,
Still, hallowed be thy name.
Shadows chasing me across the ravine,
Now I open my arms wide at your pearly gates.

Down in the valley of gods,
Right there is where I choose to run.
I'm out of sight, yet in your mind,
My tale is in the world of substance spun.

I'm the child who stands,
Between the earth and insubstantial air.
A thought that treads your rain swept lands,
Mortals seek me, their skin I wear.

A virgin fable stooped to gloom,
Pure light of the mind, across the moon.
But the story's done, it has had it's day,
I'm but a mould of the human clay.

Iam Promethea, the rumoured one,
Angels whisper my name.
The voice left alone, once all is done,
I'm a dream that waking does not end.

Rache Elixir

Trapped in a hexagram, twisting

You see me bend my shape and fill your cup.

It's enduring, this pain, when I know,

All you've ever tasted is my blood.

I don't seek your comfort,

The creature that's in me will only destroy.

Don't try to hide in the corner of my eye,

I know all your demons and the tricks you employ.

I've burned long enough on the cross you made,

Raised me on a pedestal and brought me down.

Now all you'll ever hear is my hollow laugh,

Through endless nights and days to come.

Down the roads you lead me astray,

Your blood shall run the same.

You may not recall who I am,

When I'm done with you, you'll know my name.