Remembering You

Show me pictures of yellow streets
And all your walls
Without a name

I want to see your city shining
In shades of white
I want to see it dressed
With red lights

I want to dance
In all your haunts
Hear stories from old men
Then lose my way.

Remind me that happiness
Is still worth its weight in gold
Find me
In blue of the night
Within bodies that shouldn’t be sold.

Spin this path
Like my grandmother’s hair
Black and white with a little brown
Take me to your lost green land
Where I’m waiting to be found.

Last Life

Your name
Comes to me
In silence
When we talk
Or maybe that’s
Not who you are.

Lately, I have been away
It seems that I have gone astray.
I am chasing shadows in the dark.

You know I swim
Then I drown
We are always either
Lost or found.

On someone else’s page
Through better days
Hold our breath and stand aground.

The roads point
In the same direction
This merge is nothing new.
Look up to the sky and
Find your reasons
Coming back to you

Or take me as I am
Before we fall away
When words refuse to speak
And I lose myself.
Into your eyes,
Off your smile
Another black and white
Empty space.

Rewind

No more shards to
Piece what is broken.
It came from below when I
Wasn’t looking

And to see you now is to
Wait for winter
To kiss the rain
That slides away.

Stuck
In the middle of
This page
On my mirror
And these walls and,
Teacups and conversations
Alive, breathing, in
Every street I walk.

It seems that you are in the way.

In my eyes, words repeat,
Fall and wither.
Not make sense,
When
This web won’t mend, but
You will heal.

And if they ask,
I will tell the others of
The songs in your heart
Without a tune

There are some things
We must feel, but
Never know.

Me. Now.

Should we tear this body in two?
Watch it become separate
Like chromosomes divide?
See the ashes flow in the river
Sing it like you have to hide.

Crash

I was spinning dreams on a wheel
When a butterfly crashed
On a glass
Beating its last wings.

Then the powder rose
And fell like dust
Over the tint, after which
A sound was heard below a din

And as the candle flickered to show us the way,
We let some wax
Run down our chin.

Familiar song?

They hurt
They sting
They burn
The shards that remain
As you come and fall around me
Tell me you wish for this to end.

The Way You Were Before the Way You Are Now

It’s a quiet world,
This city life
Where no one sings today
And you cast your webs
For no one’s eyes
You come down with the rain.

Lost in a haze of silhouettes
In the clocks that keep time
You light another cigarette
Wishing the reasons would rhyme.

And though you’d rather be somewhere else
With someone else by your side
You’re going to tell yourself it’s alright
You will tell yourself it’s alright.

Sliver

You tear a smile
You wear a shoe
What am I to do?

You wait a while
I am into you
Well what am I to do?

The spoils of war
These battle scars
The future won’t make you
Who you are.

The folds in your dress
Make me lose myself.

You count the reds
Now pull the thread.

The lights shine over you, down
The king of yesterdays
Turned my heart out.

And till we swerve, we never blink
Swallow the same wave
Ring the same nerves
Get distorted again.

And when I tell her

I am over this,
She wonders
Could she take it all back?
The sounds heard before a crash.

...disclaimer.

go away.

there is no poetry left.

Giulli

...Can we depart without saying a word?
Some goodbyes are seldom seen
They say some are never heard.
To hide away all that you've got,
Sometimes there is no hollow ground.
There is a reason we are lost...
And there is a reason we are found.

Geisha

And you, on a canvas
Rising like smoke
Still in bloom
After spring has passed us by.

I saw you run
In shoes that barely fit
White mask with
A painted smile.

And when you melt
With a little touch
Draped in red
The colour becomes you.

The Right Name

Take these eyes
And make them see.

Take these hands,
Break their chains.

Take these words
And make them breathe.

Rid the distance
Shimmer any other way.

Take this pen and make it run.
Tread every soul
And every soil.

Take this body
Divide it in two.
Take what you find
If it may be of some use.

Take my mouth
Make it sing.
Translate
And make it give.

Sometimes I need to feel I’m falling

Break this heart
But make it live.

The Bends

Take a bend in the road
Said I can save it for tomorrows.
And when the story is done, you,
Pull open the curtains
Watch the sun dissolve.

I will take this and more
All the colours and
The residue of the night
Still fresh on your tongue.

In the end
If it can be called that,
I know we
Can’t always be the same
Our own worlds we have
To decipher.

Abul Fazal Sky

Here we live
Look up
Again
Scattered bruises in the sky…no,
Vivid brushstrokes on a blue canvas
Purple, white and lovely pink
Quaint orange and an unthreatening red too
In streaks and patches
These tread marks of rain
Over Abul Fazal
Where we live.

Wrong if you say
Everyday is the same.
Sometimes words don’t do you good
When shades are your only friend
May I borrow this palette?

After Miracles

Today I wish to leap out of your shadow
You who I have followed for so long
Observe the night with all its stars
Aligned together like children holding hands
In other words, be where you are.

I don’t know from where I began
From a path I was on before I was lost.
From a hill or a waterfall, from a storm or a dive
From a tree or a vine
From a wheel or a shoe.

Or maybe from sunrise through a valley
A smile behind a veil, a whisper
In this world,
All beautiful things are hidden.

My eyes grow weary looking around
Where I’ve been
At times I’m tired of talking.
Sometimes you’re tired of being a man.

Today I wish to be hung,

Like stories on a wire
Where we will sway easily
Like clothes in the wind
Till we are dried of all our tears.

Prime Time

Breaking news
Is what we want to see.
Dramatic reconstruction of
Events for my children to understand
What went wrong or,
What went on
Behind closed doors
In the middle of the night.

Re-arrange the events
Tell a good story
Get everyone on screen.
That one, there, he looks suspicious
Hiding behind a policeman
Staring at the camera
I believe he has something to say.
Something he knows.
Anything.

Show me every picture of a bloodstain
In every corner, dark ones too
Don’t leave out anything.
Tell us everything.

It’s not very often
That my entire family sits together
To watch the TV.

Another

I see through you
Falling off the page
Nameless
Never thought I’ll care
For someone who was
Caught in the words
He never thought he will utter.

Through you, I see
What happened before.
And in your face,
I try to trace
The stories I’ve heard
Others repeat again and again.

I see you through
When it all falls away
Nothing to do but
To let the steam rise
As I strain my tea
And watch you become
The evening news.

Jamun Seller

Purple fingers
Is the first thing
Anyone will notice
About you
Next are your yellow eyes
They’ve seen many transactions
Carried out between you and
Hordes of hungry and scratchy children
Lucky with two rupees
Then there is your small basket
Balanced atop your trusty cycle
Filled with Jamuns
Almost hidden, but,
Peeking through
Waiting to be devoured
With a little masala.

Its funny how,
They’re the first thing
We want from you but,
They’re the last things we see.

Me & Myself

This is how it is
Sitting at the corner of the table
Unravelling
Coming undone
In strands of skin
Wishing you could prove Freud wrong.

Today I ran into my former
He never listens
Wears a face I don’t like
Blinks often and never smiles.

Tell, my lonely friend
Are we lost for a reason?

While You Were Gone

Through the nets I see,
Life wade in water.
The uneven sea is perfect
For football and curses
Till we drown,
But we wait for the rain.

Patience drives you crazy like
Something unrequited, when
All you want is what
You need but will never get.

But you, on the outside
Breaking into a run or stuck
In slow motion like you sometimes are.
Seeing red, glasses crashing with
Poetry and your love for plans
Wish I could turn into you
Or take you far.

And you never say,
But the hints in your
Eyes, maybe silent complaints
This is why I have no stories
To tell, for I bring
You this from my room.

Lately...

...maybe trying to get away from yourself is slightly different because usually people are kidding themselves when they say that…what they really want to do in such times is get away from where they are or from others…the worst thing about being lonely is that there are so many things one has to come to terms with…so many things that you have to tell yourself…things that you can choose to ignore more often that not…this process can be very cathartic if you are want to be…its killing me because I am not…wow…I actually sound almost sure of what I’m saying…could have made it sound more suave than usual. But this is how it is in my head these days…can’t find a better song…I’m already wishing for winter…clarity is the need of the hour…I hate it when I’m uninspired.

While the Smoke Settles

Light a cigarette
Ponder
Pseudo intellectual
Try to look like someone
Anyone
And I,
Have no place to hide.
Just a rogue in the balcony
Outer space
Trouble on my mind.

In my room
Corner
Questions
Mistakes
The things I used to love
The letters she never meant to write
But she did.
And I did too.

In my eyes
The things I’ve saved,
Photographs
Laughing, blinking
Sunrise.

And you
Nod once
Twice
Look up when it rains
Drops hit your face
Make you beautiful.
The love we made
Is the weather
No shelter can shade.
I see clouds gather
And you
Wish I’d walk.

Secret

Let it come like a road
Winding alongside white lines
Changing lanes
Turning yellow
Out of the dark, into
New stories of what you find
When you’re alone.

Let it come like a smile,
Bad with timing and
Right on cue.
When you do the same in
A crowded room
When you’re sure we share
This secret.

Or let it come like the rain
Without a reason and arms outstretched.
Making pictures that rid the haunt
Of crimes and mistakes, washing away
The things that make us hide.
Within the tedious action
When you part your lips and
Bat your eyes.

Sweeney

And from the dark – ‘murder’!
Cried she when the streets, they bled.
In the moonlight, beautiful, and she ran
Her fingers through the shimmering red.

You should have heard the haunting sound
Of laughter proceeding plans insane
When Sweeney smiled with a glint in his eye
‘At last! My arm is complete again!’

I won’t rest till every throat is dry
But oh my friends, patience…patience
All those who’ve wronged shall be tried
Served and tasted cold, sweet vengeance.

Judges may preach but there are lessons to teach
To this city full of filth that hides many things.
Every drop of tear on my hands will be
My reason to find joy in the hurt I bring.

Monday

Morning. Weird bad dreams about losing Mishmi and finding myself in a totally new way but not like I want to. Woke up with the 'Tuesday blues'. I actually thought its Wednesday today. I thought again for a moment that I'm turning into my father so i should listen to my mother more often but i don't really want to because i don't sometimes like what she says or thinks but anyway, thats everyday so lets just forget about it. I thought I suck at guitar and should learn to play like Omar but I somehow just can't bring myself to do that...really wish I could write a song that I would be able to sing when I am alone with myself...really wish I'd friends who I could make up an entire band with but fuck it. Euphoria. Hell. Hell. Hell. I am bored. want something new to do. Anything. Actually, something else. Change of pace. Different plans. New plans. No 'plans'.

The only thing that's making me go on for this week is the thought of where I'll be next week at the same time. The only thing I am totally sure about right now is where I want to be. I don't think I've longed for Monday so much before.

untitled

Look outside to the streets to see the seasons change

Beneath your window, the things that wait

The road disappears, singing, and you

Hum and mutter the songs you wrote.

That same hurt, unknown, alone, unnamed

Behind the word, hiding

Raids your mind like wounds you hide.

Forces a tear, makes you smile.

And until it wears you out, like

The moment you turn and forget about the time

You danced and were beautiful when you said

The world moved with you

Well, you are and it still does.

Unsolicited

Sometimes within,
The answers kill, like
A cold day in Delhi.
Like the summer heat when we
Search for solutions
Or wish for it to rain.
When nothing turns out the way it
Seems or sounds or rhymes in your head.
Nothing happens the same way twice.
When you’re broke and loose and can’t
Pick and choose between what
You want and what you need.
Between sweet sin and terrible greed.
When outside, every other voice has got
Something for you to prove.

When everyday is not the same
But you find the songs you remember and love have
Gotten old.
When discretion has been practised enough
But it leads nowhere.
Just like sympathy, which you get when you lose it.
And when you think you
Have no stories to tell but you’re happy with
The one you’re in. Oh well,
Lets take water over wine.

Rambling Without A Cause

Read the news…let it fill me. I need happiness. No a warm gun. I am not feeling like this is the end. But I feel rather like this is the beginning of a nasty chapter.

Season’s changing…heavy breeze…some icebergs melt-a band sings about it in a concert, a few hundred tigers and elephants are poached, some protesters are killed in Lhasa for crossing the line, politicians snore as the bill is passed in the parliament, some cry and shout and try to disrupt the proceedings but some just keep on sleeping , America invades and bombs another village whose name it can’t pronounce, more Qassams rain down on Israel, more Palestinians are killed…no one will ever know.

The fat man lights a cigar, price for oil is set, the deal is signed, camera bulbs flash, the ‘clink’ of wine glasses are heard, the nib of the pen breaks, the ink spills over and fills the page, blots it, they shake hands, calls are made that we need another war; he nods as a sign of approval.

The world is not a happy place…my face doesn’t don a smile now as I’m getting to know things that gathered dust before my very eyes…things I had ignored and hadn’t pondered about. Little angry, little irritated, anxious about this and everything. Scared that this won’t turn out the way I want it to. Like all those times you feel really happy…on top of the world with your little accomplishments when you’re kid…’oh, I climbed the tree today’…’I scored high marks in the maths test’….’today I won the race’…’merit card’….’box of candy’….it sure feels like a million bucks then. Times like these, no matter how young you are, you always imagine yourself as something else, someone else, bigger, better…something you WANT to be. Now when I look back on those times and think to myself what I wanted to be then…I realise I am none of those things.

Is David Bowie right? Have we only got five years to live? To save this earth…? Please don’t let this be true. There are so many other things which should be.

If happiness was a paper, I would roll it into a ball and keep it in a box…keep it safe from fire and others things that may destroy it….leaving behind only ashes.

Sorry.

This sounds very pseudo…unreal…untrue. Maybe I was just kidding myself when I told myself sometime back that this will work…this will help…I should have told you that I am sick of being wrong but I love it when you make me right and show me what is missing…I’ve realized that that is something which is absolutely necessary…in one way or the other…sometimes I want to cry when I am just with myself…your simplicity is untouchable…I feel too complex to be with anyone…maybe I am not but I feel like I will never understand me even though I’ve usually seen that I am like a bad sweater….just pull a string and I’ll come undone. You’re more than anything anyone could ask for…you’re real…something I can touch and feel and hold…you have the answers…I feel stupid that the scar I made on my left arm doesn’t go away but maybe there is a reason for it.

There are so many things I must do and be. I feel scared that I will fail. I am not natural at anything. Music doesn’t move my feet. My hands don’t glide with a brush. They don’t slide on a guitar. I’ve been telling myself and forcing myself to write poetry since class 8 and maybe that’s why I’ve gone far with it. But just like everything else, there are many things I must explore and make something my own…many doors remain unopened still.

And you told me to laugh…well, now I am laughing…but there’s no one around to hear it…I am not angry I just feel alone…do you hear it…can you hear it…?

Stitch

Wish I could sew,
Stories together
The distance
Fill it like valleys where
Rivers run.
All our days,
The things we know.
The places we’ve been to

Time itself.

The same way
You sow
Pieces of clothes
Without poetry
And call it work
Then, prick your finger,
And smile.

Circles

Call the sun vacant,
Long for the starry skies.
When the mind is made of happy numbers
Like riddles lost in your eyes.

Dancer, you move like I can’t sing,
But these songs in my head…
Whisper your laughter slow, run
Go outside and breathe the air.

Fancy, this house of cards
Till nether winds pull it apart.
Who knows?
But until that day…
I’ll draw circles and be where you are.

Lost Again

I’ve made friends with
Places that I can’t touch,
And faces that ask too much,
I’ve made it all my home.
Names that I forget
Smiles that I regret
I’ve sung this all alone.
And sometimes I don’t know what to do.
To walk down this line
To tame what is mine
Only to be with you.

To A Lost Friend

No wind to shake
The trees tonight.
Just some leaves
Doused in yellow.
And the half moon
Like a child, cradled,
Is going down, down
Too far to see.

There were times when
You never asked.
Looked the other way
Said you couldn’t believe.
Cast your nets around
For someone else’s eyes.

Then I get to thinking
Of degrees
Latitudes
Longitudes
And the walls that divide.
I remember you,
Ugly, once
Beautiful, thrice.

Away

Away, in your wings
Tonight.
Away, like stories
When your lips part.
Away, like music
When you touch.
Away, like secrets
When your eyes are drawn.
Pretend, or
Take me away.

Colours

Last time that I ask
What will you do?
With this ball and chain,
When the road becomes the rainbow?
And all that we once built,
Takes a different hue.
Out of cue,
Out of time, again.

Can you think of colours, new?
When two worlds collide
Yours and mine, hands entwined
With two suns going down
In a different place,
At a different time.

Say everything we’ve heard before.
Gone in circles, not so round
Mixed our shades with everyone,
We’re not.
Made us new,
But different, again.

When you slide over like a shade
Your body becomes the floor.
Then you’re the rain
Smiling down on me.
Washing me away,
Into the blue.

And as I lay watching,
Wishing to myself if I could get,
Just a little.
Your face swims in cool waves outside
And the night is black no more.

Footsteps

Today, you will not understand

Tomorrow, wait for tomorrow.

But the questions leave me wanting

Waiting, watching, wishing

I knew more.

Like the darkness, you left me

A night with no stars

And I’m still seeking

Tracing

Footsteps

Till I find my own.

Be Near

Drifting, devoid of shade

But don’t we all?

A thousand teacups ring your name.

Remember when you

Made a corner your home…?

It was there, in that corner

Where your roots took shape.

Forced itself through every wall.

Ran free, like

Rings through your ears

Found me waiting

And took me in.

And all I’ll ask of you

Is to

Be near.

When the night breaks me in two.

And the day finds me again.

Take Me Back

Take me back to the days

When there is mist all around.

Sunlight pierces through to show

Birds resting on the trees.

When smoke hangs in the air

A candle flickers and lights your face.

Take me back to the time

When it rained and we ran for shelter.

Shared a blanket, sang together.

Walked through the night, lost our way.

Traced the footsteps of an old man

Dodged cows, dogs and pitfalls

And home again.

Take me back to the moment

When you close your eyes and

Hold your breath.

Before you laugh and let it go,

To take me back

So I find you there.

Take me back, to all that

And more, like

The things that I forget.

There is no one here to hurt or please.

And the room I’m in leaves me

Uninspired

Though I still hear the birds sing.

Nothing

It’s been raining bad poetry

All through the night.

It kept me up

And I could not

Hear anything else.

I look and I see,

Infancy, or

A photograph, decade old

Cat’s eyes.

Then you gazing into

The yellow

The white

The black

With one eye closed,

Or open,

I can’t tell.

Your messages

That took from me.

I want it all

Or nothing,

Nothing for now.

Just a few days, live

Only a few miles, try

Temporariness is a funny thing if you think otherwise.

It goes on and on

Like the word itself.

Lonely word.

‘Not the tides’, she said
They recede.
But have you ever walked backwards?
Like they do on ice…
The way back is always
Shorter and easier.
But we should be moving on.
Through silent walks
And histories, morbid
Of cities and kings of long ago
In a place we sometimes
Call our own, our home.

Lazy

The night passed with my wrist, bent
Not behind your back.
Yellow light on your forehead,
You are
Everything.

Walked until the end
Just to bid you goodbye
Kept all our promises, new
Crunched every leaf on the road.
Jumped every crack with a smile.

And then I turned to see,
The sun going down.
Leaving me to dream,
Of the next time
We would touch.

I turned back and smiled.
Walked over colours, wild.
‘How far would we go?’
‘How far we’ve come.’

Darkling

No
There’s no hiding from the sun today.
The war is won.
The shades are gone.
And in this silence,
I, night, await.
And recall the names writ in stone.

Could you perhaps,
Wash over me?
Wash everything on the inside out,
Unclean, impure
Bandage the wounds.
Then tell me your name,
Again.

Death resides in lonely woods,
In us all.
I don’t hear
The bird’s song anymore.
I don’t hear it anymore.
I hear it at the door,
Footsteps and wind.
The one who is not lost,
And it calls me with open arms,
‘Come’.

Disarmed, Again

When I’m done with my castles,
I’ll resort to circles, round.
On your face, your eyes, your hands, open wide,
Sans tools, wild – lest you be harmed,
With hammers and chisels of
Every shape and size.
Yet, I’ll break thy mould
And leave you disarmed.
To come unto me,
Undo my chains.
They leave me bound
And gagged again.

Together in the ocean, we shall stir,
A storm unseen and never heard.
Then together, depart to lands of green,
In your eyes, map of the world.

The Red

I am lost in the streets of red.
Like a kite stuck in the tree.
Beautiful
Pillars of white.
The only home for pigeons.

I’m being pulled and pushed
From one eye to the next.
Some strange as strangers.
Some cloaked by a veil.
Smiling, and then looking away
Leaving me with just a song.

Summer and the silver shine
Wires run through all your ears.
Fill to the brim, like tears
In your eyes.
When I think to myself,
Maybe I’m alone.

Not The End, But...

Not the same when the waves get high.

Didn't make these for us, for them.

And I won't let go when you have no songs to sing.

Nothing to lose, promises,

When we sleep as we are, alone.

When you swim through another,
Just the same.
Remember me and the games we played.
The roads we took,
And lost our way.
The things we broke
And the words we shaped.
Watched the sun go down,
There we lay.

If it comes to this,
Of tears, cracks, chasms,
I wont sing this the same.
For there’s a world that waits,
For us to unfold.
And there’s so much,
That remains,
Undone.

Unsaid.

When It Comes To Distances...

To dream of you and not say a word
But I’ve
Seldom been so sure before
Paper cuts, everything I’ve done.
Mirror’s lies, mother’s sigh
Light the candle,
Watch the road unwind.

Is there trouble now in silence?
Moonlight
Like paper walls and empty halls,
Burn it down.
Break them down.

Down the valley where tears come to an end
Too far down
The places you’ll never see
The things you will never know.
Across the ravines where I found you waiting,
Through the green, where colours collide,
My storm is resting.

Dreams of You

Should I let you slide like the summer sun?

Rise into my hands
And settle like dust.
Come together now
I need to believe.
In circles and other shapes.

The see all wires
Disappear.

And all walls
Built
Mended
Broken.

Every myth destroyed.

And time
Fall apart.

I do.

Breathe into me
Your fire.
Slide
Into my cold and catatonic hands.
Shine
Your light down on me.
Treat me lazy.
I need that dream with you again.

Summer

The storm in your breast
Is nothing new.
It’s your heart,
Beating still.

The stories in your eyes
Are never old.
They always lead
Somewhere else.

The lines in your smile
Sand dunes.
Rising, falling,
Never the same.

There were times when
I’d wish you’d burn, and
Keep at it.
Burning.
The fire inside will never cease.
Unlike the winters, gone
But you remain.

(photo by Saranya...thanks!)

Septimus

Laugh, forgotten cries of yesterday.
Sing, the birds have gone
All flown away.

Talk, if words will complete
Fill these empty spaces.
That ring in between when,
Silence speaks.

Watch, let me lay awhile.
Where people surround
And I disappear.

Hear, sounds that won’t go away
Leave me be, where
I am you and you are me.
Alone again,
To take the fall.

Godot

Time is wasting
None is left.
Washing down the silver clouds.
Stripping
Branches off its leaves.
Wasting
Men and all they’ve done.
Leaving behind this
Trepid seeking
To find, to yield
Something more.

Scream

A pair of eyes,
Shut wide.
Just two lips,
Sewn together.
My two hands,
Not able to clap.
Wounded, bandaged
Left raw.
Crawling, dancing
Spinning I am,
On this razor.
And you will listen
When
My body speaks.

Still

Forgotten Sundays
When we lost everything.
Watched the flame rise,
And killed a cigarette.

Future
Like the given curse.
All tied up to play your part.
Don’t move.
It is done.

Hope recedes.
Rainwater.
Promises.
When I said,
I would let silence speak to you.
You say it best when your lips don’t move.

Joel

Dream, if it be your will
Ask me to stay a while.
Lost I am, give me a name,
Unclean, impure…unlike these lands of white.

Remember the faces disappeared in time,
Octagons, hexagons – the rays of the sun.
Pictures of valleys that stretch for miles,
Walk with me, I’ve just begun.

Reasons behind everything, confusion in my soul
I want it out of here, show me the door.
Pictures of places I haven’t been,
Letters to people I haven’t seen.

Waves are coming, waves are gone
Tomorrow is just another day.
Here is not where I belong,
Oh my Clementine, lead me astray.

Morning

Just a tear from my soul today,
When all that we once knew, is
Broken, lost, changed and
Made new again.

Walk

These embers are all burning bright,
Forgotten by the tide of the day.
Lost in the wilderness of the night,
The wind takes the ashes and blows them away.

These things don’t just come at once,
Woman, you think you’ve changed.
You’re smiling, you’re walking the road
Down and out, but everything’s the same.

All your smiles and all your cries,
All your whispers in the dark.
All your tears and the way you move,
Dancing shadows of my heart.

You walk among all their rants,
Though we’re someone and yet unknown.
Keep walking and you shall find me waiting,
Find me, and I’m not alone.

(photo by Priyani)

Sing

Simple, sing me a song tonight,
The one in your heart,
Shining through your eyes.

Don’t sing of the valley, yet unseen
Places where I haven’t been.
The fury and the pace of unnamed streets
Of crystal cuts and white retreats.

Don’t sing of unopened doors, wasted tries
Detours, destinations, deep blue skies.
Don’t sing of the past or lament the future,
Sing of the time that’s passing by.

Empty Spaces

Slow, you are the way you move
Slow, I am just another
Another one in the wrong place
At the right time.

Run, me and you far
Run, for there are no yesterdays
And our tomorrows
They will not understand.

Away, beautiful places I haven’t seen
Away, a tree on a hill blooming shy.
Waiting for the rains
Then wishing it could walk.

Fragile, break into my arms
Fragile, save me from the fall.
Tear down these walls that hide,
The distance between is nothing at all.

(photo by Priyani)

Stranger Song

Tonight, a spin of every kind
A pinch on every nerve.
Static, frozen songs you are
And melting molten earth.

A hurt, a burn, a lullaby
A tear, an answer, a familiar cry.
A whisper, laughter, a breezy sway
The rising sun on all my days.

Dreamer, drifter, stranger kinds
Strange are the words you say.
The way you move in your disguise,
Who wouldn’t be lead astray?

(photo by Priyani)

Surrender

Down this line for the final time,
On the roads where we were mislead.
Where I can sing with words that rhyme,
Where angels fear to tread.

The days are getting colder with you not around,
And I’m tied to these promises, chained to the ground.
Are you without wings, an angel falling down?
Or are you just a message in a bottle, waiting to be found?

The night collides with the light,
And thus the stars are born.
I’ll never forsake the story I’m in,
Where words spin anew like a song.

I handed you this dirty string,
And you spun it around like a thread.
Twisting and turning closer everyday,
Till we knew the secrets in our head.

These foggy nights with a prick of a rose,
Miss your songs and dirty whispers.
I’m walking backwards into my dreams,
Open your arms and I’ll surrender…

(photo by Priyani)

Poetry

You’re like poetry,
Waiting to be found.
Or forgotten by time,
Only to be remembered.
By lovers, fools and jesters alike.
You’re on their tongue,
Like water at my feet as I walk by the shore.
Coming and receding like a long lost friend,
Smelling of childhood victories.
And you remind me of myself,
In a different place at a different time.
A time when I stood and swayed and went,
Wherever the wind took me.
But now I am two mirrors,
And a bouquet of forgotten flowers.
And as you stand in front of me,
You make it easier because,
You’re like poetry.
All I have to do is to write you down.

Disarmed

Your surprise, the roses
Sheets dried downstairs.
Canvas bleeds for your shade
Think twice for cherry waves.

Your smile, the roses
Eyes that can’t see.
But touch and leave maroon
Clay lady, change your shape.

Your cries, the roses
Blue star, moonless sky
Off key baritones
Carousels and mistakes.

Voice drowns in rear view mirrors
Jump the water, hug the plank.
Meandering roads in your smiling eyes
The rose tonight, the roses.

Scenes from a Balcony

The light draws closer,
Night surrounds me in shade,
As the leaves sway and whisper,
I think of you.

How could I not feel your touch?
Slide into the same room.
The earth sways when she dances
Dancing I am when I’m alone.

The future has been defeated,
Though the past is never destroyed,
And as my last cigarette crawls and burns,
I think of you.

Blue Star

...funny are the words you say...the words you preach...forgetting, like you never did before...you might be just like me with someone disappointed or more expecting from you...expectations...how they fall when you see yourself in the mirror, don't you see you've changed from what you used to be? The way you've drained all the colours you once draped yourself in...the way you taught me how to dream and do the impossible...the way you smilled when you read what i wrote and we would spend hours talking about our little hopes...well, you're turning into a puppet now and all that once remained with you is washing away like your regrets in the rain...though there is still hope...there is no way out of this...so let me find my own...maybe, rationality is just a word for cowards...so often i used it to justify and preach to myself how i should be and what i should be and especially what i can't be and will never even try thus...but not anymore...let me be the crazy one, let me sometimes go astray...how will i ever learn if you chart out the roads for me and tell me where they lead to...?

I don't know of the future to come...and you don't too...whatever you have today may fall apart tomorrow, so what makes you so sure of things not working out for me??...fuck your rationality...seriously...you are not wrong but am i...to hope, to dream...and thus, to work towards making it possible....???


No.

Monkey Wrench

*ahem*


onelastthingbeforeiquitineverwantedanymorethanicouldfitintomyheadistill
remembereverysinglewordyousadiandalltheshitthatsomehowcamealongwith
itstillthere'sonethingthatcomfortsmesinceiwasalwayscagedandnowimfree.

thank you



over but not out.

Muse

You came to me like words, broken
And I turned you into a song.
Humming your sweet tune devoid of sorrow
I walk down the roads that might take me somewhere.
Far away but still near, always
Close to you.
You said I could mould you.
Shape you free, and yes you were
Like clay.

You came to me like a revolution, forgotten
With all the idols washing down brick walls,
Like promises from my ear.
With all the heroes burning out, turning into statues.
Everyday they play, dance away
To ashes, dust
It never changes, catatonic
Like paper planes that take flight,
Only to be still.
Like hollow flags that are raised, beautiful
Just to sway in the wind.

You came to me like a stranger, lost
Went everywhere with a rear-view mirror,
Karma dice, colours, music and sanity in tow.
Always contemplate how far you’ve come.
And still, you told me the way a tree bends.
Always lament how far you’d go.
Told me where to follow, lead.
Told me all the things unsaid,
Blasphemous whispers in my sleep.
Shelter, sparks
I feel tonight.
Never knew cold fingers running down my back
Could feel so warm.

Moths

Words they say are just like stones.
Alone, unbroken
Not weathered by time
Nor bound by expectations.
Unchanged
With the seasons gone by.
But I’m not.

Sometimes when I get to thinking,
Of the way you were carved
I slip, I fall
Away, Far away
From my mould they said he made for me,
Or maybe I made for myself.
See the way you look when they
Remember you.
Everything else is remembered
But I’m not.

Mother, is it safe for spring tonight?
Mother, will this
Pass me by?
There’s a fire today, deep in your eyes
Let’s call it the sun
Let’s call it
The sun today.
Where I came by as a thief,
And now am left a vagabond.

And this is beautiful like everything else
That lasts.
The last one to fade shan’t go away too fast.
Bitter taste on my tongue and figures lost in
The wilderness
And you and I are just,
Two moths
Dancing alone again,
Into the fire.

Gravedigger

Let us depart to the valleys high,
Let us try to live a lie,
Let not the day go down in sighs,
May we the living, rest in dirt.

Lest all your fears are signified,
Like a drama lost behind your eyes,
You’re a believer who’s got no one to confide,
And I still yield to your hurt.

To search for something that’s still alive,
Unlike the children of ’45,
May you pray upon my demise,
Deep in your shadows, I lurk.

And like a smile that is denied,
The hope in the future of a million tear-stained eyes,
But mother, its raining death tonight,
And the sky is azure no more.

Do you walk the fields where your fathers lie?
Do you hear them whisper when you pass them by?
‘History shall repeat itself again’,
‘Yes, oh my son, just like before’.

So I still raise that flag and listen to every word you say,
It lies wasted, like the hollow documents of democracy,
Like the promises of tomorrow that lead us astray,
But love the country that doesn’t believe in you.

To earn medals and go down in history,
You cannot see what you’ve done to me,
Use and throw, a tool from the grocery store,
And soon I shall join you father,
For now I’m just passing through.

The Pain I Love

You know my name and not my face,
We’ve sung this song before.
Your fingerprints don’t leave a trace,
As you crawl right through my door.

What do you see and want me to be,
Caged tonight in the thoughts of you.
I run in circles when I’m free,
I only love it when I’m hurting you.

He stares at the mirror and doesn’t know his face,
I weep and weep as I weave my wicked craft.
Don’t you know I want you on a crucifix?
With pins and needles in your heart.

Shining lights and the words they say,
Too true and precious to borrow.
Let us commit our little sins today,
We’ll be forgiven tomorrow.

Let me go astray tonight,
No one left to torture in this world.
No strips to mask your bloody wounds,
No noise of pain I haven’t heard.

Some Rain Must Fall

A heart wrapped in darkness,
A soldier freed from sorrow.
A whiff of the past is better,
Than the stench of tomorrow.

Time will make me a miser,
As we will our end to pass.
I’m not getting any wiser,
Head me back to the start.

Where do we again to begin?
All the answers are lost in your eyes.
And I confess, my only sin,
All I did was to let it die.

Now everything has been said before,
There are just no more words left to borrow.
The rot of the past is better,
Than the decay of tomorrow.

There are strangers in your room,
And there is blood in your hall.
They shall haunt you soon,
You know some rain must fall.

Fool

....happy i am.


why does it feel weird when i write these words...?? Yes, it's been long...too long perhaps...but now that you're here, let's walk outta this place..drive me far away and don't leave me be...got you like a poem i wish i wrote...but now it's mine...mine...future retarded that i am, i stop to contemplate still...but i guess i shall believe it this time...and stop guessing too, fool...you'll never get far...cuz you're already there.

Last Words

Knowledge is confusion,
Ignorance is bliss.
The future’s just a hit and miss.
Now the rope is hanging,
Long and slow.
I swear I had no place else to go.

Gutterflower

Gutterflower, gutterflowers,
Rushing in on the midnight hour.
Deep in the day,
Why not in bloom?
Take the heat from the sun,
To shine with the moon.
Or take root in darkness,
With me and die.

Tuesday

Your calls from the cold...how I miss them...she thinks the truth will set us free. Well, maybe it will...i don't know...not the one who's good with answers...always better with getting you nowhere...till yesterday i was sure i could fly...now I am glad I've found out that walking on the ground is way much better...way more harder...way more beautiful...but not more than you.

This wheel is spinning me...Dave sings this one like a memorized lullaby never meant to be forgotten...he says we're temporary, just another soul for sale, we're not permanent...same ol' story....sing along my friends, sing along...refuse to hear the one that's inside...no, not god...you.

But then again, who are you....who are you....who are you?

Aren't we all just pretenders in here...?Too cowardly and too imperfect to ever be perfect again....but are still willing to try otherwise through futile means to achieve the unreachable...to do the impossible...it aint right, it's never been...impossible is something.

But times like these are important, they should never fade, they should consume you and leave you be forever, they should give you epiphanies with coloured flags fluttering in the wind and with eagles soaring in the sky, they should make you believe you're not alone.




Dear loneliness,
I'm not.

Cliches

I hate to watch you go,
But I love to watch you leave.
Everyday is just an hourglass,
Like sand through my hands, you recede.

The armies all departed,
Now I’m down to just one.
And I think of songs to sing to you,
But the lines just won’t come.

I still need your crazy touch,
Or maybe I just feel too much.
Down this time for the final time,
Maybe I just feel too much.

Touch

There I was on a lazy winter morning.
Writing songs to your name.
Thinking about how the sky would look
From your window,
As you wake.
Half drugged state of paranoia,
Mixed with sweet lament.
Here I am.

There I was,
Surrendering to this brief moment.
As nicotine burned my throat,
And many hot cups of tea filled me up
With you to pass the day.

And there I was, you should have seen,
Branches broken by the eagle,
Just in time for the obligation.
And the promises I wish I could keep.

Here I am on a lazy winter morning,
Writing songs to your name.
Here I am,
There you were.

My maiden and I

Losing reasons to be understood.
But there are proportions to be defied.
Chained myself to the roads we’ve traveled,
Like chaos in my mind.

A reason to be flown away,
Like the words that ebb tonight.
Oh so lovelorn,
My maiden and I.

A heart drenched in silence,
But a voice that couldn’t die.
Passive, as I watch her drifting,
Nourish my selfish pride.

Blinded, in your flame I am.
Picturesque, you haunt my eyes.
Oh so lovelorn,
My maiden and I.

Are you a deceiver?
Tearing down my walls.
I know they will forgive,
Purge us when we call.

I’ve been down this sad, dark forest,
And now your arms are open wide.
Oh so very lovelorn,
My maiden and I.