Not A Nice Man To Know (Revelations, part – 1)

Walking down a winding road,
With Juliana on my mind.
Whenever I think of her,
I can’t keep myself from cryin’.

She is breathing fire
And the smoke is in my eyes.
She told me she’s better off alone
I’m still coming down the line.

I want to grow some wings and fly
Where her children are being born.
And as she hangs her head and cries,
I’m still watching porn.

We said we should choose to walk.
Sun is out with a lonely glow.
Empty spaces filled with empty words
I’m not a nice man to know.

Many walk between us,
And I can’t change these lines
Watch me suffer from afar
Just for one last time.

Yes, I know I’ve lost
I beat my hands against these cold, gray walls
Leave it hanging numb and lifeless,
Just like my body that’s bound to fall.

When the rain gets harder
And the nights won’t leave me alone
I’ll think of your eyes,
They’ll guide me to my home.

I’ll become the wind
That plays with your hair.
I’ll whisper your name
But I won’t be there.

Promises washing down my back
Secrets I’ll never choose to show.
Running free, I wish you were
I’m not a nice man to know.

How I Should Be (Trippy At 12, part – 2)

Afternoon.

This shade, a blade
Leave me alone.
A cut I’ll make in her name,
Maybe carve a way to my home.

You give up so easily,
Wishing so freely,
You were someone else.

Well now you are –
Wishing you were,
What you were before…

I made you,
You break me.
You fucking forsake me.

You don’t give a shit.
But you’re so full of it.

Jimmies in my head,
High as a bird.
Don’t even know,
How to fly.

Teach me or I’ll fall…

You want a scar?
I’ll give you some.

You want a name?
I’ll lend you one.

You want my blood?
Well, bring your cup.

You want a home?
Fuck you, I ain’t jesus.

Midnight News (Dreams and reality, part – 3)

I’m watching a girl on TV,
She’s got very sharp eyes,
She laughs and pretends all is well,
Rest is just surprise.

And I’m thinking about my love,
Her weight is on my mind.
Too deep beneath the surface,
She’s hurt but far, far too kind.

I went to her house,
She led me in through the door,
The boy is now a man,
But you’re not the one I’m looking for…

Down by the fire,
I’m warming up my bones.
Still don’t know which way to slide,
Should I stay here or go alone?

Pictures in my head,
Voices at my door.
The boy is now a man,
But you’re not the one you’re looking for…

Smile (Circles, part – 4)

Hiding smile
Life for hire
Falling chains
Bleeding veins
Special needs
Hope receeds
Lost causes
Broken wings
Hope jaded
Life faded
Black star
Dreaming tree
Underground
Running free
White and gray
Bird’s prey
Fucking clever
Nothing ever
If you got a wound,
Why do you choose to hide?
All I ever wanted, was to know you smiled.

The Here Monologue

The day I tried to live for once
I saw a thousand people die.
The moment I gave up,
I heard about a man who tried.

Oh mighty sky, do tell
If the rain falls us the same,
Why do we need an identity?
I’ve become a name.

I am what I choose to be
Rest is just surprise.
I only run for cover
I do not wish to hide.

Those who fall down on their knees and pray,
Those who never shed a tear when they cry,
I’ve always been that shade of gray,
Nothing in this life is black and white.

Jesus Christ Pose

I swallow your lies
One by one
You say it’s all all right,
But your day will come.

I’ll march into your temple of lies
I’ll show you what you’ve done
I’ll burn your flag of shit in front of your eyes
And leave you with nowhere to run…

You killed my people
You hijacked our democracy
I hate your condescending talks
Of who we ‘ought to be’.

Why don’t you go and fight your own war?
Than wash your bloody hands, just like before.
Make promises, treaties and lies and valleys of death
You and your rich mates shall end up in regret.

Just a hammer and a nail
I’ll drive it through your hand
I’ll let your blood drip
Over our fucking ‘promised land’.

Cut you like a pig, so beautiful
Make you look like a homeless whore
The world shall know my anger the day
The president lies dead in jesus Christ pose.

Dreaming With Open Eyes

Same old cut
Some other day
Options change
But I’ll be okay.
Lift me from these shadows
Predict the change
Tell me the truth
Nothing will be the same
Losing it all
Nothing to gain
Lost my love
Lost the game.
All the thoughts,
In my head
Remember still,
What you said…
Is it worthwhile,
To give it a try?
I can’t sleep,
When I’m dreaming tonight…

Puzzle

And ive tried to solve the puzzle
but nothing ever fits
john lennon was a hero
but yoko's a bitch.
dylan is a diamond
leonard is my man.
juliana is my woman
and they will never understand...

On My Mind

she is thinking of a make believe place

and she might take this ship down

iam burning with the one thats inside

where silence is yet to be found.

coming down the bend
with you on my mind
sleepless nights, yet again
i am running out of time.

looking at the t.v.
makes me want to cry
no one really cares
if the people live or die.

does justice never find them?
will the wicked never lose?
with one hand tied behind my back,
ive been gunning down the blues...

ive been staring down the aisle
to find a familiar face
need her to remind me of all that i am
i need her grace.

with my hopes, iam walking down
tired of standing all alone
today i will walk till my wings burn white
I'll make heaven and call it home

do you choose to find yourself
when they call you by your names?
or do you choose to lose yourself,
in their dirty, dirty games?

but do you walk the line
down this road again?
or would you rather hide
and tell me you're the same...?

All The Small Things

all the small things

go round and round in my head

was everything by coincidence?

or was it something i said?

oh, and i met my match today

fought till i bled

i knew i could never win

i'd rather be dead

all the small things

seem to preoccupy temptations

i'm stuck in this boat alone

and what i dunno

turns into a revelaion

i'm bound to crawl

my body to the wall

try to break it down with my hands

watch me concede and fall.

all the small things

keep surmounting everyday

all i can do, is watch them get bigger

and take over me.

Pray For Rain

I lit a match this morning

so i wont be alone

and i'll watch her drifting away,

for soon the light will be gone.

oh, and through the keyhole
the light is shown
to make me realize
that i wasnt the one

the rain falls on my world
in the hours before dawn
and in time i realize
my true love is gone.

i can sit in a corner
and gather dust
forgotten by enemies
betrayed by lust

its here that
i'll do my time
and again, will realize,
why this cant be mine

my prison is cold, my body's weak
to read my rights, gabriel speaks
i cant do much, but to go insane
instead - i fold my hands, and pray for rain...

Muse

i got a picture in my head

my emotions area all blind

i got a few chains to break

this town dont feel mine.

sometimes you lie so quiet
i miss the sound of your voice
they tell me to walk away
but i already made that choice.

people say you're not for real
and they say i'm not the same
i know this feeling i felt so well before
but i cant recall the name.

i walk these streets
but im not alone
i hear your voice
when the lights are gone.

everybody wants you
everybody needs you
im lost in the crowd

i'll run around you
i'll walk beside you
even when you're down.

so let me hold your hand
rid you of the thorns in your side
you got a scar for each day
you wish you never had to hide.

-dedicated to Juliana, my muse.

Change

The dreams are in my head

my emotions are all blind

i want to break away

from these chains in my mind.

i'll keep walking this road
even if the sun refuses to shine
i wont look back, not for once
see what i've left behind.

sometimes i wanna spray paint these halls
with the colours in my lonely mind
at times i would like to climb these walls
fuck the world and liberate my time.

its been far too long now
since ive been standing in this line
the promises are all gone now
and the future isnt mine.

ive been quiet for far too long
been pushed so far inside
but i'm not the same - no,
as i stand across the divide.

sometimes i wanna go insane
destroy everything i can find
hold my hand, make our escape
climb the walls, liberate our time.